2013 random happenings

The first quarter of this year is almost gone and I'm sure everyone would agree that a lot has happened. From deaths to weddings to comical viral sensations (my oga at the top) to the usual political brouhaha and drama, it has been one heck of a year. Personally I have felt a little overwhelmed with things happening this year and have spent many moments processing it mentally and spiritually. We all entered the new year hoping for better things to come this year and thankfully for some people that has happened while for others the reverse has been the case.

Starting with death, it came 'close to home' this year with the loss of a cousin, a family friend, a sister-in-law and an acquaintance from secondary school. Four deaths in two months, most of which were within two to three weeks apart, that the "RIP" status on my social media page became the order of the day and at some point was emotionally exhausting. What can I say if not that the feebleness of life is a reminder that we really are chasing the wind and that everything outside of God and a purpose driven life is vanity. Just like you and me, these four people made plans as each day passed by. They planned for the present and the future and imagined they would watch their kids get married and someday they would grow old. Somewhere in the recesses of their mind death was an option someday but not anytime soon as they couldn't imagine dying young and unfulfilled but sadly death doesn't respect plans and so before they had time to catch their breath, the inevitable quiet end came knocking on their doorpost. How sad.. May all the souls of the faithful departed be with God.

Onto weddings ;).. I've attended ONLY one wedding this year (for a Nigerian that is a poor statistics in 3 months, we too marry) and might I add that just like a typical Nigerian would do, I went uninvited! Which brings me to the subject of the 'collectivist' nature of our society, is it a good or bad thing to be this communal that we can freely walk into a strangers special moment and partake without contributing anything? My masters dissertation was about culture and one key subject raised was 'collectivism' which is basically the level of social interactions in the society. While it has many advantages as you can rely on your friends or neighbors and sometimes total strangers to be there for you in times of need, are the disadvantages more when it comes to thinks like planning a wedding? Ideally you want 300 people at your wedding but knowing the culture you are from you end up planning for 600 people, irrespective of your financial capabilities, because it is expected that "extra mouths" will be there (without gifts if I might add!!) and they should be fed. Oh well I guess we can't blame people who now do weddings strictly by invitation to avoid stories that touch! And on a final note for this wedding subject, mine is coming up soon and just like I crashed someones wedding, I expect mine to be crashed too so feel free to bring yourself to eastern Nigeria (if you can find a commercial airline in naija to fly these days)! lol..

Comical viral sensations, my oga at the top!!! Now this is one man who made an entire nation, home and abroad, laugh their heads off for over a week! Talk about national comic/embarrassment.. I won't write too much about this because the story has been exhausted in all forms with music videos, tees, mugs, etc.... People couldn't get enough of the joke of an interview captured on national television by Channels TV station, discussing the Nigerian Security and Civil Defense Corps (NSCDC). When I first saw the video I was mortified and embarrassed at the man's supposed 'ignorance' that I didn't notice the epic line 'my oga at the top', until the slogan broke out! Well all I can say is "well done Mr Shem for publicizing your organization in the most comical way ever,....dats all!!"..lol..

On the political front, GEJ should please revoke his presidential pardon of Alams so we can hear word and so we can believe once more that the battle to fight corruption has hope! How did we get to this point where we are defined and judged globally by how corrupt we are??! Lord help!

Three eventful months gone and nine more to go. Personally I want weddings and more comical sensations to happen but no more deaths please, enough for a season already.

Just my morning musings and now its time to carve out my JD at my new job where I have no structured JD!!!(another fundamental gbese with Nigerian companies, smh).

Ciao!

Coco-C

He's just not worth it!

This post is inspired by the heart wrenching, jaw dropping, mind boggling story which I just read on BellaNaija's blog, about a 20 year old girl in a sexually, emotionally and physically abusive relationship. I have to say that I was too shocked to even have comments to drop because its hard to believe what human beings are capable of doing to another human and also harder to believe that the victims feel trapped and don't know when its time to walk away.

I've never been in an abusive relationship and so I cannot begin to fathom the intense and immense emotional and physical turmoil which people who are in such go through. At the risk of sounding judgmental I believe that victims of an abusive relationship, especially when unmarried, are unable to walk away because in the recesses of their mind their self-esteem is so low that they believe they cannot find any man better than what they already have and so they are dominated by fear of the known and unknown. Men who raise their hands on women and who degrade women sexually are demented and need to be exorcised because they are surely not worthy to bear the title of manhood, shikena! Its despicable and disgusting to even hear such stories that its borderline unbelievable. Unfortunately, because I know victims of such relationships I have to believe that of this unfortunate girl and I wish to God I knew were to find this 20 year old girl because I would take her matter personal o!

No man born of a woman, who has sisters, who is raised to fear God, who understands the value of women and who is worthy of the title of manhood would ever raise his hand or his voice or treat a woman in a way which can be described as inhumane. I am surrounded by such men and so I know that real men exist. Some of the women who are victims of abusive relationships are being fed lies in their hearts from the devil, lies that tell them that they are worthless to every other man and worth-full to their abuser. They are being fed lies that their abuser loves them and acts inhumane only in moments of weakness whereas unknown to them the blood flowing through his veins is infected with crude oil! They believe that the abuser will change someday because sometimes he is loving and so they forget so quickly that he is a nothing but a swine in clean clothes! I could go on and on but I'll stop here for now because I don't want to lose my temper and risk smashing my laptop against the wall! *exhaling deeply*.

If you are a victim of an abusive relationship or you know someone in an abusive relationship, please act fast.  Notice I used the word 'act'? And I don't mean 'talk' or 'advise' or 'try to reason with your friend' fast, I mean literally drag her by the ear away from her predicament if you have to and if possible! I mean get family involved if that's what it takes and don't worry about what they'll say or think of you, they'll get over it quickly and get into "action/eliminate the enemy mode" immediately. So please speak up and save yourself or shut up and kill yourself, because that may just be the final and unfortunate means through which you are able to get yourself out of such a relationship.

God loves you and made you fearfully and wonderfully and don't let any man treat you as any less. Real love is not violent, jealous or scary. Real love doesn't destroy self-esteem or intimidate. There is NO FEAR in love. Perfect Love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). So if you are in a relationship and you are scared then it is NOT love.

Remain blessed!

Coco Chinny

  

Memories of 2012

Wow, today is the last day of 2012 and what better way to end it than to blog about the wonderful blessings I received this year?! Where do I start from? Probably the most amazing gift I have received this year is the gift of LIFE! Life is something a lot of people, without realizing it, take for granted. OK every now and then we wake up in the morning and thank God that we are alive and we may say it so often that it becomes cliche. If you however take a few moments, pause and think about all the people who lost their lives this year either through accidents, ill-health or being in the wrong place at the wrong/right time, then perhaps your perspective on being alive till 31st December 2012 will change. We live in a world where terrible things happen on a daily basis to people around us, be it strangers or friends. And while we can sometimes relate with the sufferings of those around us, to be completely removed from calamities, disasters or a state of mourning calls for a celebration of life and shouts of thanksgiving to the giver of life! And so I start the first half of this post by dedicating this poem to my maker (PS: writing poems ain't my forte so don't cringe if I don't quite rhyme, God still loves it! :) :

As I sit and ponder at the love you give
My heart wonders why I live?
I believe you have a purpose for me
One which only you can let be
Saved by your amnesty 
I stand in awe of your majesty
Alive to sing of your praise
I will worship you all of my days! 
Selah!!!

My second blessing for the year is for the gift of family. Family are the earthly beings who define what unconditional love is! Whether a good egg or bad, sad or happy, poor or rich, fat or thin, ugly or beautiful, family will love you unconditionally. I dedicate this next poem to my family:

Family are like diamonds, they shine bright as long as you got them
Family are like precious stones, they remain precious by defacto
Family are like love, they last forever!

I love my family; Papi Ray, Arukakwa, Papa Dozy, Och, Charlo, Miana and Chiro! We are entering 2013 as one formidable force set apart to make a difference in our world!

My third blessing for the year is for the gift of love. I need not define love to you for the definition of love is summed up in 1 Corinthians 13. From this scripture, my favorite verse is ^{13 "}And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love". Love is the greatest gift God has given to us and I am blessed to say that I have found love and love has found me! Love found me in a man who has been pivotal in teaching me what unconditional love means. Patiently and lovingly, he has waited for a looong time for part of God's will and purpose to be discovered and achieved in our lives and that patience has persevered and paid of because............let's just say 2013 is full of many pleasant surprises and even more knee humbling memories! So this next poem is for you Mio ;)

Long ago you came my way
Far away you lingered day by day
One to eight you patiently sought to wait 
Now today I'm yours to take :D
Te amor mi amor!

And lastly my final blessing for 2012 is my Msc. in Engineering Business Management with a "Distinction" from the University of Warwick!!! Wooohooo! Awesome God, thank you for showing the world that the fear of You, determination or faith and hardwork are the keys to succeed and achieving goals!

On this note I can end this blog post which by the way took me over 12 hours to compose considering I've had my laptop open the whole day and been distracted most of the time, whew!

I wish everyone a blessed, fruitful, happy, prosperous, peace and hope filled 2013 and I pray that Proverbs 3: 5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in ALL of your ways and He shall direct your path".

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!

Dilemma of a pretty girl

A friend of mine was telling me a story of a hookup gone cold because the guy she was being hooked up with, thought she was "too pretty to be single" and hence he was potentially wasting his time!! I was deeply perplexed on why pretty girls seem to scare men off! Guys, what's the problem??

So she's drop dead gorgeous but does that mean she has a boyfriend? No. The dilemma of pretty girls is that potential boyfriends or even husbands make assumptions about their relationship status and no one dares to make a move because of the fear of rejection. Newsflash guys, a pretty face is not licence to a lineup of suitors. Not to blow my own trumpet, but I could relate with my friend's story because a couple of times I got to hear the same thing about myself and I remember being slightly peeved as to why a guy could not approach me to ask questions instead of making assumptions. Now I know that some pretty girls look unapproachable and this does not necessarily have anything to do with their character. I'll use myself for example. In university I was told by many that I often had a "shove off my face" expression and so guys were skeptical about coming to talk to me. I found it to be news to me as I was not aware that I was expected to go around with a smile on my face!! Lol.. Now that is taking it a bit far but what I am trying to say is that my facial expressions when walking are not suited to a specific mood and because I was not deliberately trying to get hitched, there is no way I was going to go around with a look on my face that says, "hey dude, I'm single and available so feel free to try your luck". My expressions were just my expressions and nothing more! Anyway, not to digress from the subject, the introduction of facial expressions was to allay some of your likely assumptions that pretty girls remain single because they are either already hitched or unapproachable as a result of their character or facial expressions.

I know this is not such a serious problem because any real man who sees and knows what he wants will go after it like a deer pants for water! I can testify *winks* :)...

A word to the guys...... if you see a pretty girl whom you are attracted to please walk up to her and try your luck, you just never know! ;).. And if you are too nervous to ask her, look for her friend and ask questions, don''t make assumptions! As I normally say, "assumption is a termite"! (Don't ask what it means, think about it for yourself with your God given brain!)

Tots,
Coco Chinny aka Mrs E ;)