Who would've thought....

Who would've thought that a time would come when I would be too busy to faff around?!...

Hi guys! Indeed I've missed this blog but I know you guys have missed me more! :(.. Sorry for the long silence, I've had a crazy term!!! I can't even begin to talk about it because within such a short time I have reached the point where I wish I could literally blank out school from my mind, head and from my 16hour daily schedule! If i ask God for more time in the day, say like 26hours, it still wouldn't be enough to get all I need to get done! That's the story of my life now....smh

So I know today's blog will please a few dear friend's who have logged on here and refreshed their browser ever so often hoping that coco-chinny would have some mental pleasurable ramblings! lol.. Well unfortunately, I haven't got stories to tell but at least you should be happy to know that I am alive and well and that 'spititout' is not out of mind! :).. Its Christmas time and aside from the songs and carols I hear walking by, it barely feels like a holiday thanks to the impending thoughts of books on my mind.... its a sad sad situation, but what can I do, I signed up for this so I'm stuck with it for the next 9months! Speaking of which, yesterday was my 3 months anniversary living here, yipee!!! I only remembered by midnight and mentioned it to my twin who thought it funny that I am keeping tabs of my anniversary living here, well..... :).....

So I'm about to hit the books and remembered that I made promises to blog.. While I ain't storytelling just yet, enjoy my ephemeral presence and keep fingers crossed for more when time permits ;)..

Merry Christmas guys,

Love you all....




Coco...

P.S: In the spirit of lights, birth of redemption and love, give and let others smile! :)...

1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY

Wow, na my blog be this??? Gee, its been only 2 days short of a month since i blogged last! Oh dear, could this be the end of my social writing pastime? I hope not! I miss blogging but unfortunately i don't have the time of day to be consistent at it... I definitely hope my readers have missed me cause I've missed you all too! :)..

So today is my 1 month anniversary of officially living in the UK, yay! Can't believe its been a month already! How time does fly!! Oh one thing i must say about this place is that time definitely does not stall here! Its unbelievable.... I'm literally crying everyday for time to crawl so i can get to the end of the day and feel like it was productive and no man-hours have been lost. My schedule is crazy busy that it doesn't permit room for the blogosphere, or facebookspehere or any other sphere at all! Heck I'm barely finding time to eat (but maybe that's just a function of my personal irregular and bad eating habits). God help me here! Everyone's been asking me how school is, and all I can find myself thinking is......what did I get myself into?! Masters ain't for the lighthearted at all! As we say in naija, "no be beans", speaking of which i wonder why we use beans as a yardstick of measuring something difficult, seeing as beans takes so much time to cook! Lol.. Ok I'm not here to talk about beans so let me not digress too much. On a more serious note, school is interesting! I'm amazed at how quickly I've been able to settle into life here, maybe because its not my first time in the UK or maybe because I came here with only one goal in mind......to put to good use my brain to justify the bloody (excuse my french) expensive fees I'm paying... Nonetheless its a wonderful and life changing experience and I'm grateful to God for the opportunity to be here. Its tough getting back to the books and having so much school work thrown at you in just a week of lectures but thank God for Jesus that He died on the cross! (if you don't understand what i mean, check ya bible :D)..hehehe
Its 12:46am and I can't sleep! I should probably study, but if I have to read 'Capacity Management' one more time, I could have a brain freeze! Why do we even go to school? Does an Msc determine my future? Certainly not! So why did I decide to study? I'll leave my answers to myself.... But just in case you're reading this and you're considering doing a masters, my dear think am well o!! "Its not for children" as my dear mother would say! I'm not discouraging you o, just enlightening you.. I was warned but you never know until you're in it! But by God's special grace this time next year, I'm gonna be sharing the news of my Distinction with y'all, so watch this space!!

Anyway I should try to get some sleep, have to continue reading 'capacity management' tomorrow as I already have an assessed oral defense next week! Pray for me,  I have to ace it!

Hasta luego people!
Coco-C!

Just incase you're wondering what i look like, see me below ;)

I'm not as fat as i look, the winter coat is like 4sizes bigger than my size! (a girl's gotta stay warm) lol

Life In a New City

Day 2
Sitting on the living room couch in my PJs, its 4:30pm and yours truly hasn't showered! lol..... Consequences of living in a new city with a different climate! Anyway its day two here and I'm still in the faffing committee and loving it, for i know what lies ahead of me in a week to come will be no joke nor will i find the time to blog! So enjoy me while you see me or rather, hear from me...

So as a foreigner in a new city it can be hard to adjust to the new environment; the roads, streets, shops, what to buy, what phone network to use and then which plan to subscribe to, which bank to open an account with etc etc etc! It can be all so overwhelming and confusing especially with no one to guide you.. But lucky for me I'm surrounded by family and friends who have been more than helpful in filling me in on whats great and what's not, so thanks guys!
I have quite abit of shopping to do and i don't want to do it alone, so who's game in joining me ladies? You never know what present might come out of it ;)...
Onto other conversation, looks like i'll be opening a second blog soon enough but this will be on my school's blog portal so unfortunately my spititout readers wont be able to have access to it :(.. But i won't completely abandon spititout, so fear not...

Its now 5:24pm, im still in my PJ's, still struggling to finish this post, half-watching a movie "Cop Out", chatting on blackberry and eating a bag of Doritos chips! This is "extreme faffing" at its peak! Lol, maybe that should have been the title of my post!

Anyway let me not bore you guys with my idle ranting, I'll go shower now and see what meal i can cook for myself for dinner! My lovely twinnie just sent me a bb msg telling me to cook her 'special ukazi soup'... i had to laugh and remind her ever so humbly and embarrassingly that yours truly is yet to make an "A"grade in the kitchen department! in other words, I can't cook Ukazi! But I'll learn........someday... ;)...

Ciao guys
Me!

THAT DAY

Hey guys, i'm just as shocked as you are that i haven't been here to blog in almost a month!! I haven't even started school and i'm already MIA!!! Oh dear, forgive me...
So i came to let you guys know briefly that, the day is finally here..... The day when i say goodbye to my folks and i leave home to start a new life in a new place with a new person, the day of my........engagement! Lol... ok i'm just kidding... Today is my departure day from the city of Eko o ni baje,  the city of Lagos!! Its been threee interesting years but finally its time to say goddbye or maybe not goodbye but 'Hasta Luego' (see you later in spanish)...
I feel kinda numb! Its weird...everyone has been asking how exxcited i am but i've truly got no answer to the question! Maybe cause i've been overwhelmed with preparations that i haven't had enough time lately to be euphoric about it all. However it is an exciting new opportunity and i'm thrilled to be at this point in my life filled with new beginnings!

Wish me luck guys and you bet i'll be back soon with more tales by daylight! ;)

"Talking the Talk OR Working the Talk?"

Its 11:34 pm, way past my bedtime and guess what I'm doing? Playing 'Angry Birds" on my ipad while desperately waiting for a ridiculously slow game download of 142MB to get completed! What would that make me?? A game addict? Playing games by 11:34pm, when i should be in bed and then waiting for another download to complete! Oh dear!! Well truth is I'm not waiting for it to complete so i can play more games, simply waiting so i can shut down all my gadgets..

I'm sure most of my ardent blog followers are wondering why I've gone silent lately....I can't say I haven't, I think I've just been preoccupied with recent happenings and my impending relocation to a different country! Anyway that's not what I'm here to talk about! I'm here to talk about...................um...........I don't know! Lately I've been wondering "what da banana's happened to my inspiration?!".. Sometimes i have a million things i wanna talk about and at other times, my brain cells seem fried! Maybe i should talk about the recent bombings in Nigeria and its impact on the lives of the people....? Or maybe i should talk about what we can do to help others in difficult situations?! 

I think that alot of times when people are far removed from disasters, they don't really identify with it and as a result have a limited level of empathy to those who weren't as lucky. What I'm trying to say is that its easy to talk about accidents and events 'in passing' and to proffer a million solutions of what we think the president should say or what the government should do, because we know better sitting our behinds in our comfy swivel chairs at work or couches at home, reading the papers, Internet and watching CNN! How about we start talking about what we can do? And after talking about it, actually get up and DO SOMETHING! Or do we not think we can make a difference in influencing our environment and changing the lives of people around us? I just read an article about a 13year old boy who when he was 5 was inspired to send all his toys to a little girl whose house got burnt and whom he saw on TV (oh the sweet innocence of a child). Well, eight years later, a charity organization has been formed with thousands of volunteers, rebuilding homes and lives and making a measurable difference across state borders in the US all because the little boy saw a need and decided to meet it. Why can't we be like this boy? Now here's inspiration for me to write! Don't get me wrong, I do not ostracize myself from those who talk the talk but can't work the talk! I'm just like you, wishing in your heart that you could sacrifice your time and resources and actually do something; I'm just like you thinking that sending a donation across to the less privileged is doing my own 'biblical CSR' (CSR in this context meaning Christian Social Responsibility)-By the way my download just finished so I'll be wrapping this up soon- and Yes, maybe sending a cheque is good enough but is it "best"?

I strongly believe we are called to do just more than sit in our comfy lives and send cheques or talk the smart talk without doing the work.. There's work to be done, alot but the laborers are few... Its time to step out of our comfort zones and get our hands dirty volunteering to make a difference in people's lives. It could be volunteering at an old people's home or at an orphanage teaching kids or just playing with them and making them feel loved, or raising funds to help out those in dire need of financial assistance to solve real problems or sending relief materials to victims of the crisis in Jos, or spending your next vacation in Sudan or Somalia instead of the UK or wherever else you go (i say this to me inclusive) or even sacrificing the vacation money and raising funds to send across borders! After all true love should be without borders right? People, it could be anything, just start "working the talk"!! Lets do something that counts in other people's lives!

My prayer is that this week God will help me meet the need of someone truly in need... I ask this not with expectations of receiving blessings for myself later, but i ask selflessly with the desire to see someone smile. :)

So i urge you readers, lets get people smiling this week :).. God bless you as you touch a life and as you "work the talk"!!

Now its beyond way past my bedtime guys! Adios!!!!

Letting Him in "On D Plan"

I'm not sure what exactly i came here to blog about today! Its been 15days since my last post and in those days a lot has happened! I'm now a year older and hopefully wiser (winks), I've sort of moved houses temporarily (gist for another day) and my future has just been set in stone by the good news i received yesterday! However before I go onto the news, let me tell you about my birthday! I had a wonderful day in the midst of colleagues, friends and family. I got gifts and 3 cakes in total, 1cake i bought and 2 as gifts! Any more cake and i'll be blowing out cake from my nose! lol.. In my company when its your birthday, you get to spend your money on the company instead of the other way round; funny right? Anyway your's truly had to buy drinks and a cake for the office to feed over 80+ people, so getting an extra cake for this feat was more than welcome! After work, spent the rest of the day and night at a bar called SS lounge (i don't know what SS means) where there was a live band and comedy on air.. Loads of friends came (of course with their own friends as is customary naija practice) and we wined and dined! So that's how my birthday was.
Now onto the good news.............drums roll............ your's truly is relocating from Naija!!!! (Mixed feelings).. I'm leaving to the UK to start a masters for the next year and i'm excited and overwhelmed with the number of things i have to do pre-and during study! I've wanted to do a masters for the last 2 years but somehow it never quite worked out before due to circumstances beyond my control, and now its here it feels surreal. On the other hand a part of me is ambivalent about my departure cause i get the feeling i wont be back to stay in a looooong loooong time... don't ask me why, its just a hunch (winks).. Anyway "life is a beach; and then you dive" (slogan on my sister's t-shirt when we were kids)... Life comes in various shades of colors and mine just took on ALL the colors of the rainbow! Yippee!!!
So that's the story of my life lately.. Makes me think back to when i was in secondary school and what i envisioned of my life post secondary education...um..to be honest i can't remember what i thought i would be doing or where i would be! lol.. kinda silly not to remember but hey! Life takes us by surprise, we move onto places and phases we never thought we would be; and in all of it we hope we can look back and be thankful for our blessings.
For me i feel like who i am, where i am going to and all my plans has got absolutely nothing to do with how much effort i put in, its more about how much "in the plan" i let the Big Guy upstairs in on and take control of. For you see, my life is not my own to do with as i please so no matter how much i want something when i want it, he's not gonna let me have it if its not in his own timing! In my place, we say "Oge Chukwu ka mma" meaning "God's time is the best"; my life and my experiences so far is a clear indication that this phrase is true.
What of your's? Are you patient enough to let Him lead and you watch?

Toodles people!
Who else?!

Fear of Getting older

Its my birthday in exactly 8 days from today and i'm going to be 28. I know a lot of women don't like to tell their age, but i ain't one of those women.. Saying my age or not won't take or add any more years to my life or increase the size of my bank account, so what da hell?!Anyway i never thought i would be single at 28 but here i am, single and satisfied! Don't get me wrong when i use the word 'single', doesn't mean i don't have a man in my life, matter of fact i do and he's wonderful... So back to the age thing....I'm guessing my blog title gives the impression i'm scared of getting older? Far from it! I'm happy and thankful for life to this age, hearing the way young people are dying everyday.
Reminds me of when i was 23 there was this tall, handsome, blue-eyes, light skinned guy who wanted to marry me, but i barely knew him and in my naivety i couldn't even get myself to date him cause i felt his ultimate agenda was marriage and there was no way i was gonna be getting married at 23, hell no! In fact i did say to him to leave me alone and move on cause i wasn't gonna be ready even in 2years from then (at 25) to be married. In retrospect, i'm like 'what was wrong with you'? Why shouldn't i have been ready to get married at 25 right? I don't know.. I guess this marriage thing has to do with psychological and mental readiness and i was certain that it would take me more than 2 years to get there. I remember in university when i and my friends would discuss marriage, 26 was my ideal age. I wanted to be married at 26 and have had 2 kids by 30! I guess i'm now 2years behind on my ideal dreams ;)...hehehehe...Then the funny part was my friend who is so opinionated and a very independent type of chic was so sure she wasn't gonna get married before 28 and even said she didn't mind getting married at 30! Need i say who is married today?? Her of course! Married at 26 and laughing at herself for thinking myopically all those years! Guess life can be ironical..
And as i sit and think about the fact that i'm turning 28, i realize that i don't look nor feel 28! I look at least 2 years younger than i actually am and feel 3 years older than i am! Lol! Yep, i feel 3 years older.. I bet you thought i would say i feel 20 or something right?! Far from it.. Call me old-school or old mama, that's the truth! Maybe its because I've realized i behave, have views far ahead of my peers and have been told i sound older! Whichever the case, I would rather be caught acting like a mama than like a girl in her 20s with little to offer intellectually! Just me...sue me!
To answer the question if i now feel ready to be married? The answer is Yes! Not that i don't have my doubts some-days, but ultimately, I'm just about ready to start a new phase in life and curious as to what my babies would look like! lol.. Anyway you know what they say, the race is not to the swift! Time and chance people, time and chance....So live life with no regrets and stand by the decisions you make everyday.

ps: make sure y'all be wishing me happy birthday on the 11th of August!
Hasta la vista ;)

The Concept of The Human Race

Charles Darwin grew old trying to figure this one out! photo from  wikipedia.com

Have you ever wondered why the people who sweat their butts the most are the ones who make the least money? Example; commercial drivers, the carpenters, construction workers, farmers, masons, truck drivers etc... They make the least money but labor the hardest under the scorching heat of the day, tilling the soil hoping to reap of its fruit. Their bosses on the other hand wake up in the morning and head off for a run to work up their only sweat of the day, get home and get ready for work and eventually make it into the office say at about 9 or 10am in the morning. They lie back on the swivel chair, turn the air-conditioner and the TV on and listen to CNN dish out more problems the world has, and then start off the day with phone calls and emails on the computer. End of month? The boss goes home with a check at least 5 times more than that of the guy who spent his whole day outside under the sun or in the rain. That's life! Or lets take it back to the corporate world with the bank as a case study; in Nigeria the banking industry is so huge and so demanding that no matter how much the banks pay, a lot of people would rather opt not to work in a bank if they could help it. The junior banking officer gets to work at 630am, handles customers incessant demands from 8am till 4pm in the evening (need i remind you of Nigeria's population) and leaves the office at 7, if she's lucky, she does this everyday for at least 300 days in a year: the junior marketer who's been given a target of 200,000,000million naira is out on the streets everyday looking for customers to open accounts, and worried sick about not meeting her target and possibly losing her job if not careful. And at the end of the year, the banking officer and the marketer take home a lil over 10,000USD for all their hard-work and they do so gladly that at least they have a job in a country filled with so much unemployment. Now we have the bank managers, directors and CEOs who on the other hand are caught between meetings, calls, conferences, flights across continents and the best holidays all over the world when they feel like it and who's only labor is to scream over the heads of their subordinates about meeting the company's overall target. End of year? Well lets just say it'll take a laborer on the street his entire lifetime to make what the director makes in a year!

This all brings me to the question, "what is or was the original concept behind the creation of the human race"? Were we fashioned to be born, go to schools, graduate, find jobs, work our butts off, get married, have kids, sweat to raise them to be useful in life while of course sweating to provide for them, keep sweating to survive even after the kids have grown and left home, get old and become a baby again and then die someday out of old age and exhaustion from the 70+ years of hard-work? Nah, it can't be, there's got to be more. While the stages in life listed are exciting and interesting, it can't be all there is to achieve a fulfilling life... Life has got to be much more than about the number of worldly goods attained. If it weren't so, why is it the more privileged people who tend to be depressed and even take it one step further by attempting to or taking their own lives? I mean the lives of Hollywood stars depict the example of worldly assets being insufficient for personal fulfillment and contentment; they have it all and yet their lives are filled with drugs, extreme alcoholism, immorality, divorce, depression and suicides! So can you see that amassing all the riches can never be enough for true happiness?

In my opinion, the original concept of the human race is fading. The beginning of doom for man begin with the fall of man in a certain garden eons of years ago. The true purpose and reason for which man was created "to be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it..." Gen 1:28. Man was supposed to live in a beautiful world without stress and without having to toil to eat! That's the way it was supposed to be. But then man fell and the rest is history! You and I are in a race to find our way back to our true and original domain and i don't need to mention how difficult it is to find the way. This takes my mind to the "road less traveled". This road is narrow, long, winding and filled with obstacles and trials too many to count! Someone said, that "the beginning of Jesus is the beginning of trouble"! I agree. You can't seek to the serve God and face no trials, no its not possible. You see the devil is constantly trying to distract us with the many enticing things the world has to offer; drugs, sex, alcohol, crap on TV, malice etc, so we don't remember what our true and new purpose is, which is to serve God. So the minute we somehow remember and take a 360 step to walking down the narrow road, the devil gets upset and attempts to ruin us by shooting arrows to test our acclaimed faith!

Now some question God and ask why He lets the arrows fly? It's cause that's the only way we'll prove how much we trust Him and that's the way He can show us who's in control! He's hoping you wont chicken out and walk out on the road less traveled. For you see in Christ there is actually peace (though arrows fly) for Christ has overcome the world (John 16:33).
Food for thought.........remember to walk the "road less traveled" people..its easier.

Coco-C

Taking Life For Granted

image from: 4.bp.blogspot.com 

I worry and complain lot... I worry about the littlest things. I worry about my career and where I am headed, i worry about the future.. I worry about things I feel like i have no control of, I guess I'm used to being in control. I used to dream I'd be so many things, an ambassador for my country topping the list, a motivational speaker, an accomplished writer, a voice to be heard and a force to be reckoned with, yes, i have dreamed of the famous life. Then i worry about money, I need lots of it! heck who doesn't right? I want to be able to give people around me or even strangers without looking at my account balance. I complain about not having a car and struggling to get around even though I've never been beaten by the constant rains and I can afford to sit comfortably at the back of a cab everyday.. I complain about not being able to travel because I can't get a bloody visa because some western embassy officer in their myopic and twisted mind believes I wont return to my country!! (of course with the stereotyped belief that the grass is greener on the other side) haa!! As if i want to remain in a foreign land dodging the po-po and immigration and doing menial jobs to make ends meet?! I'm not that desperate and my country ain't that shitty!
Realizing my worrisome habit and nature has made me realize that I take life and the blessings I have for granted. In other words, I have not adopted the principle shown in the picture above, that My ALTITUDE is not determined by My APTITUDE but by MY ATTITUDE!
In the last few weeks, i have read and heard saddening true stories of torture, illnesses, tragedies and misfortune people have had to face in the hands of this thing we call Life! I'll fill you in on what i mean exactly; is it the story of the now 21 year old girl who for the last 5 years, after over 70+ surgeries, has been in a battle to salvage what is left of her skin after the horrendous plane crash in Port Harcourt left her badly burned? Or the story of the child whose intimate part was mutilated by some insane ritualists and left for dead, but crawled her way to survival? Or the 14year old boy who is battling cancer and in tremendous pain from chemotherapy and needs jut N300000 ($2000) to complete treatment and can't afford it? Or the hundreds of people displaced from their homes and their already derelict properties lost in the recent Lagos flooding? Or the kids who've had to quit school because their parents cant afford to continue to pay their fees? Or the foreigner who lost both his legs to malaria because he refused to take an antimalarial shot? (whereas to me having malaria is like having the flu). I can go on and on but i'll stop here... Now can you see what i mean? I'm humbled by these stories. All true and quite sad and a big reminder of the many blessings we take for granted.
I have a house, a job, money in my bank account, food to eat, clean water to drink, opportunities to take holidays in different parts of the world, over 50 pairs of shoes (don't judge me), clothes up to 6 cases full, friends and family who love me and can help me should I hit rock bottom, etc.. I have all this and yet i'm not completely satisfied, I want more. Doesn't a scripture in the bible say "be content with such things as you have for he has said he'll never leave us nor forsake us"? (Hebrew 13:5), and yet I dare to speak or think covetously? May God forgive me...

No wonder scripture says "....to whom much is given, much will be demanded (Luke 12:48)".. I've been given much and much is demanded but I haven't started paying back or at least not as much as i should, because I've been so warped in my own cocoon of self-preservation and fulfillment that I've forgotten to be my brother's keeper.
So If you're reading this post, it means you can afford a computer with internet connection and you're most likely doing so from your desk at work which invariably means you have a job and you have money in your account and therefore YOU'VE ALSO BEEN GIVEN MUCH and MUCH IS EXPECTED OF YOU. So i urge everyone this week to reach out and touch a stranger in need and help them live a little!

Live and let live people....

Coco-C

And i write...

I resumed work yesterday and since then its been barely 2 hours since the Internet connection came back up. Almost everything 'network' in Naija in the last few days or week has been messed up as a result of the heavy rains that have wrecked havoc in Lagos! Lord help us with these rains, the whole place is flooded, people are displaced from their homes, cars are ruined and lives have been lost. Its terrible and worrisome. As usual trust Nigerians to take every hardship with a pinch of sugar, people have gone on to compose and send viral jokes on how wives, husbands, cars and even houses have floated into their premises as a result of the flood! Lol.. I've been praying to God for a 4-wheel drive to float into my compound, I'm desperately in need of a car! On a more serious note though, I wonder if the intensity of rain in Naija these days has anything to do with global warming as we haven't been blessed with rain such as this before!

Anyway I'm sure you guys have been wondering what's up with me and my blog right? Well I'm also wondering! I haven't had the luxury of internet access from a PC in almost 3 weeks and hence its cramped my writing style...smh... But I'm back now and i'm here to stay so make sure my page is on your list of favorite sites visited. 

Now back to my Kenyan experience, it began with a 7hours flight from Lagos to Nairobi in a regular boeing 737 plane with just two columns of three seats each with barely enough leg room! I was shocked to find Kenya Airways provide such a plane for a long haul flight such as this and worsened also by the fact that the journey was lengthened an extra hour by the stopover in Cotonou to download and upload more passengers! Nevertheless, stuck in the middle seat in between two friends, i slept most of the journey as it was a night flight. Landed in Nairobi and proceeded to immigration to get a visa for just $25! I must say it was a pleasant feeling to be able to hop on a plane without a visa and arrive a new country to get one stamped on the passport for such a peanut fee, kudos to the Nigerian and Kenyan government for seeing eye to eye on immigration. So my friends, Ib and Emmanuel, and I got stamped in and walked out of the International terminals with our suitcases to proceed to the domestic terminal so we could catch a flight to Kisumu from Nairobi. Unfortunately for us, the flight was fully booked and this was 8am in the morning. The next and only flight to Kisumu was at 4pm and then the hustle to get out of Nairobi began..... To cut a long story short, almost 9 hours later we made it to Kisumu after a 6hour bumpy ride through the beautiful towns of Kenya and with my bladder seconds away from bursting during the journey, that yours truly had to ask the cabbie to stop and hop into the bushes! LOOL! 

Anyway we settled in nicely into Kisumu and the rest is history... 

For picture viewing, see me on

I"m sorry but all the pictures i upload here from my BB camera wont rotate right!arrrrgggghhhh

Guess Who's Back?!

Agatha Christie! I wish! OK guys,  I, miss Chinny, missed you all so much and missed blogging!!! Where do i start from?! 8 days of exaggerated fun in Kenya, I could write a short story of 50 pages to tell it all! If i did that though you guys would probably tire to read it all here, so I'm gonna start a "guess who's back series! I can't say how many parts the series would come in as I'm not sure what my mental bank translates to in writing (lol) but I promise to keep you entertained as I always do!

I've been staring at this page and seriously wondering where to start from! How does one quantify a good time? Sorry did i say 'good time'? I meant 'blast'! Best holiday ever! Best place visited so far (and my travel resume hasn't done badly in my short life)... This was one of those holidays you come back feeling content and fulfilled that you just achieved a milestone in your life, and in this case the milestone being FUN!
Kenya is without a doubt an African country to identify with; from the people, to the culture, to the landscape, to the weather and to the lifestyle, its all great. In my words i would describe Kenya as a beautiful fusion of the West and of Africa, modern enough to accommodate the needs and demands of an ever changing and technological advancing world and traditional enough to accommodate the lifestyle and beliefs of a people common across a continent. They say there is no place like home but i say there are some places close enough to home, they come second on the list. For me for now, i say that place is Nairobi! Yup, i like it that much! Some of my friends have asked me to emigrate, lol! Not just yet guys, i still like my country, though these days with the incessant frustrations, i wonder.....
I would have loved to upload the first set of wonderful pictures taken across Kisumu and Nairobi but unfortunately i don't have my camera with me and 'm struggling to bring you this post from my sister's semi-slow laptop (sorry Uch :D). But I'll be uploading amazing pictures in my next post for your viewing pleasure and for your review of my long discovered unharnessed photography skill.....if y'all know anyone who would take me on as a protege, please ring me up on +23480........... nah you know i can't give out my digits here!

So for now lovely patient bloggersville readers, i sign off and i leave you with some words from my short but eloquent Swahili mental dictionary, NAKUPENDA blog readers!

Who else?!
Coco-Chinny :)                              

PS: 'nakupenda' for those who do not know, means I LOVE YOU!

OFF TO THE LAND OF SAFARI's

I find myself on boats or ships a lot these days and it can be fun and rough too! I've been trying to upload a picture here but i can't seem to figure out what is wrong with blogger image uploader, so i give up!
Anyway tomorrow, i'm going to be on a jet plane and guess where i'm off to?? Kenya, land of the safaris!!! Kenya has always been on my bucket list of places to visit, so i must say that i am totally excited to be finally going there! Yippee!!! It happens to be a friend's wedding on the 25th, so i will be attending this in a place called Kisumu! Unfortunately its a short trip of just 5days so not very sure i will be able to go on any safari :(... But hey at least i'm glad i ain't going alone! Two of my good friends are tagging along and we've vowed to party the Kenyan Way!!
I'm off for now guys, next time i blog it'll be from Kenya and watch out for my Swahili lyrics!

"Wakati ni kwa chama"!!! (It's time to party!!)
P.S: thank goodness for "google translator" page :D


Coco-C!

Dear God

Dear God,
I only write you letters when upset so here it is! Not again! I really wish you'd give me a heads up when you decide to let stumbling blocks come my way (I guess if you did it would ruin the surprise of what you call a 'trial' and what we humans call 'disappointment'). I wanna say' I get it' but.....

Can we try working on this Father daughter relationship where you tell me when I can and cannot get what I want when I ask?

Yours sincerely,
.....(Guess you remember my name)

Sick at Sea

I have had a fairly difficult week that all i can say is TGIF! From bank frustrations to domestic power issues, unplanned bills, lasting flu, bloodsucking teeth clenching mosquitoes and lastly terrible seasickness, its been a handful of a week to handle.

So I'm required by my job to make occasional visits to ships on and offshore; and while this is normally fun to get out of the office, it can be tasking considering the 45mins to 1hr long trip is made in a canoe with a makeshift engine (don't try this at home kids). Anyway today i went to one of my company's vessels on a location known as Lagos anchorage and i assumed it would be business as usual, little did i know what was coming. I got to the vessel and found myself swinging in every direction like a piece of paper being tossed by the wind, as a result of the sea's high current. I could barely stand and literally had to be hand supported. Next thing i knew, i found my face staring down into a long black chemical smelling polythene in the form of a bin bag puking my intestines out! I knew i was in for a long run as we were scheduled to spend at least 4/5 hours on-board the vessel. To cut a long story short, i called the office and asked to be evacuated immediately or else i would die! Lol.. I can laugh now but i wasn't laughing when i found myself puking 5 times on-board a ship were i was supposed to be working. Of course i had to apologize to the ships crew which i came to see as they ended up fussing over me the whole time. I did manage to put in about an hour and a half's worth of work..

I think I've lost a pound in one day as my stomach feels as flat as a slate! Whew! I won't be going back in a hurry, no thank you!

See pictures below for proof of my sea adventures! (erm, don't laugh :D)

sorry i can't get this picture to rotate! make una manage am like that

Letter to ALL my blog Readers -(I AM OFFENDED)

Dear Spititout Blog Readers,
I am offended and guess who offended me? You! Yes thats right, i refer to YOU (reading my blog right now who's never said a word!)  Offence? YOUR SILENCE!! It sickens me.. I am weary of it! Go on and LOL all you want, call me desperate, call me attention seeking, call me crazy, I am still offended. How can you come here everyday and read my blog and not even say a word? Its not fair now, c'mon.. I check my stats, i have a minimum of 10 hits per day; on good days 70+ hits and not even 1 comment??! Haba its not good now. Oh let me not even attack all you've who've sent me blackberry messenger or Facebook messages  to commend my writing and to mention the fact that they are "avid followers"..they forgot one word in the middle of that, 'silent'! What haven't i done? I gave you the option to "share my page"; "subscribe to comments"; "subscribe to posts"; "become a follower"! Wetin una want again?? Is it because my blog is not a gossip blog like some out there? I know gossip sells but some of us have got to be different. Abi una no like my write-ups? Tell me o make i know whether i go shut down this blog once and for all. And to think i'm not even making money from this blog (and i be igbo gal o), proof that not all igbos are the same.

Now in fairness to you, I know I didn't start this blog with the intention of amassing followers or fishing for comments, but how many intentions remain the same? No be to start the journey, na to finish am so yes right now i don't write for myself alone anymore, i write for you too (abi na lie?). After all some of you have been inspired by messages here, some have made differences in their lives from words seen here, some are even planning to use my articles in their church magazine (you know yourself) and some will infringe on my unspoken copyright policies.
 All I'm saying is, make una try to dey pay for the information and knowledge collection i am freely disseminating here, shuuuuuuuuuuu!

I am offended o, i don talk my own.. If you like judge me, na your own ten kobo be that!
Msstttttttcchhhhhheeeeeeuuuuuuwwwwwwwww!

Yours Offended,                  
Coco-Chinny.

P.S: IF NOTHING CHANGES 3 POSTS AFTER THIS LETTER, E DON BE! YOU KNOW SAY NOTHING FOR UNA AGAIN!

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING? MY THOUGHTS ON THIS..

bigbrotherafrica.dstv.com

My thoughts on Big Brother Africa (aka BBA)? Hmm… a plethora of words or comments fill my mind yet the one comment that repeats itself is ‘an open justification for immorality’ on global television. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the show, sometimes, but I don’t approve of or subscribe to the low morals exhibited by the housemates on the show nor do I like some of the tasks given to the housemates by ‘big brother’ which clearly encourage nudity and indecent exposure from the housemates.

I just saw a video clip of 2 housemates on the current Big Brother Africa house having sex under the duvet in the bedroom!! That has got to be so wrong. It’s not a movie, it’s a reality show and it’s not a reality show in the western world, it’s a reality show in Africa, hello??!! There’s a saying that we Africans want to be more western than the westerners, I completely agree. While I don’t know if people actually have sex in BB UK or anywhere else, I can say Africa has sure taken the game to a whole new level. Of course this is not the first example of promiscuity ever displayed on BB, take your minds a few years back to when Richard from Tanzania won BBA 3; Tatiana from Angola sure had fun with him regardless of the fact that he was married while on the show. I wonder how his wife felt watching her husband betray the sanctity of their marital union. That’s their cup of tea though…

So back to my thoughts on BBA, it seems very shallow to have to come into a house (of which you cannot leave) for 90 days to live with and compete with strangers from different countries with different behaviors, culture, lifestyle and morals all for $100k USD. The prize money is nice (if you win) but the hassle of being trapped in one location for any number of days and being forced to clash with all types of characters must be frustrating and be reserved for only the most eccentric type of people. Now let me let one cat out of the bag and don’t laugh when you hear this, I actually applied for BBA this year!!! Crazy right?! I know! In retrospect I’m like, ‘what da hell was I thinking’?? I wouldn’t have lasted a week in that house! Heck I’d go into the diary room screaming blue murder and demanding for BB to evict me as fast as possible. And just in case you’re wondering why I applied, I did it for the fun of it! Wanted to see if I was daring enough to be considered ‘worthy’ by the judges of BBA DSTV to grace their most indecent and moral depriving success of a show. FYI I only had the guts to apply when I knew they wouldn’t be showing shower hour on TV anymore!! Which brings me to the questionable ethics of the show; what kind of show in the world would comfortably show me one of the most private things a person does behind closed doors?? Eeeww!!! Why da hell would I want to watch people take a shower? It’s ludicrous! And why da hell would anyone wanna show the world how they take a shower? Please let’s not even talk about the few ladies who opted to shower with bikinis on for a whole 3 months! That’s just crude and nasty.

The big brother eye? Hmmm… Now I don’t wanna get spooky but that eye reminds me of the “Masonic Eye Symbol” used by the “New world order” led by the “Illuminati”.. You’ve heard of them right? Ok in case you haven’t, I’ll fill you in a bit, they say that “it is an occult headed by a small group of shadowy elite, super-rich and powerful individuals with big plans to take global governance of the planet (or as much of the planet as possible) by immoral means. Connections, control and corruption at the highest levels, politicians, sovereignty, economists, bank leaders, business leaders, media moguls, military leaders, top scientific minds (including control of what information is funded for study, what information can be released into the public domain and what is to remain hidden)” peopleforfreedom.com. To be honest I really don’t know what their shenanigans, if any, is all about and I can’t be assed to know so I won’t even attempt to talk about them. All I do is try to stay away from what I don’t give a damn to understand. So whether illuminati or illuminate na occult or not, don’t know and don’t care as long as no one I know is in it and it doesn’t affect me directly. A lot of corporate organizations use the same symbol in different patterns as their logo/external image; which makes me wonder…..

Anyway if y’all wanna keep watching BBA, that’s your 2 dollars but just don’t waste your money voting to keep any house-mate in the house, as DSTV is clearly ripping us off moral decorum and making millions from doing so!! That’s my 2 cents folks!

Peace out! ~~

The Cons of Change.

I have come to realize that I’m not as young as I used to be. I’ve come to realize that the world has changed so much from what it used to be; the innocence of childhood is gone, the respect of younger ones is far lost and the stages of maturity are far gone. Why? Change, the only constant thing in life is change they say. But what they forgot to add was that with every change comes advantages and disadvantages, the latter being greater than the former; I will explain.

I went to a get together yesterday with a friend whose cousin’s birthday it was. She just turned 22 or 23, he wasn’t sure. Anyway we got there and even before stepping in through the door we could smell juveniles from ten feet away. We both walked in telling ourselves we’d not spend much time there as it probably wasn’t our kind of crowd. True to thought, the room was filled with them, juveniles I mean. Though I use the word ‘juvenile’, the appearance of the people in question is everything far from young; with 22inches Brazilian hair, runway model like makeup and handbags that can be seen on the streets of Hollywood oh and let me not forget the acquired accents that make me wonder whether they’ve actually all lived or schooled abroad. Now to conclude on the reason I call them juvies, they are probably all within the ages of 19 and 23 and have succeeded in slapping on at least 5 years on top their original ages by wearing so much makeup and fixing obviously fake hair and nails.  Now please don’t tell me that the age of maturity is 18 because in Africa it’s not; if your folks are still paying your fees, letting you drive their car, giving you allowances and you are still under their roof, then you’re still mainly a kid so lose the ‘I’m an adult crap’. Adulthood is not attained by how old you are but by how responsible you are. I mentioned to my friend, while we sat alone at the dining table feasting on the nice meal in front of us and laughing at how old we are and how children no longer know the meaning of the word respect, that I would blog about this. As if to confirm my concerns on the morals of youth in our society today, one girl whom my friend confirmed to be about 20 in age was asking a group of guys sitting together who would be the ‘male stripper’ for the party! She may have been playing but the confidence and seriousness with which the question was asked was alarming and thought considering. This behavior and sheer lack of respect for the few people in the room whom were obviously older than her is a clear indication of how much the world has changed and is changing. Oh how could I forget the different colored bottles on display on the table?! Moet, Rosey, Sheridan, all kinds of red wine etc… My friend was completely alarmed at the quality of drinks accessible to the kids, drinks he didn’t fail to mention that “his folks would serve ONLY to AUGUST visitors”! lol.. I thought it was funny but he had a point.

I guess all of the above is a clear indication of how kids are raised these days. I said to him on our way back that I really couldn’t blame the lifestyle these kids have adopted;  partying, smoking, etc, because they’ve probably had access to a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle so why not have fun? While I agree it’s good and ok to let your kids have the finer things of life, I don’t agree with spoiling them to the point where they don’t become responsible self-discovering individuals who aren’t cloaked under the umbrella of ‘daddy’s wealth’. Give them ONLY what they NEED, NOT what they WANT. If they have only what they need they will learn to appreciate the source of their fortune and will not become individuals lost in the reverie of adopting a western culture and accent.

WHEN WILL MEN FLEE FROM THEIR ACHILLES HEEL?

Lets face it, mighty men of valor and caliber have always been brought down and will still be brought down by a woman, dating back from tales as old as time; Adam and Eve, Samson and Delilah, David and Beersheba, Bill and Monica, Arnold and his maid, now DSK and the Guinean girl but to mention a few! Who's next? When will it end? NEVER! I warn you powerful men, beware of women! (whom are not your wives). smh...
Let me tell you about Achilles...

In Greek mythology, when Achilles was a baby, it was foretold that he would die in battle from an arrow in the foot. Naturally, his mother, Thetis, did not want Achilles to die. So she took Achilles to the River Styx which was supposed to offer powers of invincibility and dipped his body into the water. But as Thetis held Achilles by the heel, his heel was not washed over by the water of the magical river. Achilles grew up to be a man of war who survived many great battles. But one day, an arrow shot at him was lodged in his heel, killing him instantly. Yet Achilles is remembered as one of the greatest fighters who ever lived.

So this is the birth of the term ‘Achilles Heel’, meaning ‘area of weakness’ or ‘vulnerable spot’. Such a strong man would die by an arrow to his heel? It is said the arrow was poisoned by the blood of the Hydra, and hence the fatality. Science has come to name the tendon that connects muscles in the lower leg with the heel bone, the Achilles tendon.(Wikipedia)  

Achilles was a man of valor, pomp and pageantry i can only imagine. Defeated countless of warriors and nations, his name infamous with victory, fame and success; yet what brought him down? Something as minute as his heel. Now i know the story may only be myth and it wasn't a woman who was his weakness, but his heel as his spot of weakness and a woman as a man's vessel of weakness are metaphors. Hence it is safe to conclude that women are men's Achilles heel. Powerful world leaders held in high esteem across the globe, names synonymous with wealth, power and intelligence are knowing the beginning of hell on earth all because a few minutes of weakness or should i call it sexual insanity? I don't understand how the next powerful guy can't learn from the mistakes of his predecessors?? Too many men have fallen prey to the lust of a woman's flesh for a few minutes of destructible pleasure. Pleasure that has cost some their live's hard earned wealth, reputation, freedom, marriage and even their life. Its sad. Its not just the world leaders falling prey, regular Joes too are not immune to the desirable pleasures of a woman's anatomy. What is it about the intense desire for that which you SHOULD NOT have? (discussion for another day). Take Nigeria for instance, divorce in the past was more or less an unspoken taboo, you dare not leave your husband or wife even if you're almost dying in the marriage. But these days there's an increasing rise in divorce rate, most of which can be attributed to marital infidelity, in most cases the man being the culprit and the woman the victim of hurt and anger. People no longer stick around to try to fix things, maybe because the men seem not to care so much anyways, after all pleasure is only a bar away! This does not go to say that women don't have men as their Achilles heel as well (what like 2 in 10? doesn't really count). Some argue that women cheat just as much as men do these days. I beg to differ. Women do cheat but never as much as men do, thats fact no 1. Fact no 2, when women cheat they hardly get caught! Why? Maybe its the men secret code of DON'T Kiss and Tell? Whatever it is, the women know how to take it to the grave because they hardly get caught and the men hardly tell. 

My point though is men have got to find a way to have more self-control from women. They have to wage a war they can win and get away with, not one that comes back to haunt and destroy them. This is just my 2cents to the male folk, STAY AWAY FROM YOUR ACHILLES HEEL WHO IS NOT YOUR WIFE!!!! 

P.S: I normally don't put two pictures at a time, but i couldn't resist as i quite like both pictures! :D

Yep, this is the picture of the guilty!

Errm...Wounded Achilles

  

ALIKO DANGOTE- #51 ON WORLD BILLIONAIRES LIST

Aliko Dangote

Na wa o!!! When will i get here?? (by honest and praiseworthy means).. OK while I'm not striving to be rich just so i can make Forbes list (which is tempting) i can't help but be inspired by such stories considering I'm twice less in age than Aliko Dangote, 54, who is now valued at $13.8B and is # 51 on Forbes World Billionaire's list! Heck he beat Roman Abramovich and 348 more people to stand in that position! Kai!! He's also No 1 richest man in Africa... But who is even more inspiring is Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook founder and CEO) who is only 27(my age kai) and is one step behind Aliko, valued at $13.5B ranking in at #52 on the World's Billionaires List, #35 on Forbes 400 richest Americans! Whoaaaa!!! Just because of Facebook?? 

There are mixed reactions to this story, a lot of people are peeved at the fact that Forbes would consider him newsworthy since the source of his wealth is unequivocally unquestionable (Politricks, the government and the corrupt leaders)..quote me not, but thats the advantage of democracy. OK so i don't buy into corruption or ill gotten money and i also don't buy into OWING STAFF SALARY (Dangote, c'mon!!), but i buy into pride when Africa produces something 'positively newsworthy'. Lets face it, Africa has been tagged a dark continent with nothing good to offer and so much negative news on hunger, war, corruption etc etc... so for once its nice to hear stuff worth hearing about and yes, worth splashing on Forbes, so all i can say is WAY TO GO ALIKO!!!! News has it that he's pledged $2 million to establish a fellowship program aimed at grooming young leaders from Africa! (Aliko, please pick me!!!) The fellowship is going to sponsor 35 young Africans and  put them through intensive leadership training in world renowned institutions, with the objective of the program aimed at increasing participation of young Africans in the non-business sector in the Young Global Leaders (YGL) community program being run by the World Economic Forum. Good stuff, at least he's giving back to society.. (though i would have preferred to hear that the fellowship award is for 35 NIGERIANS not AFRICANS), after all charity begins at home!

PS:Anyone who knows Aliko should please tell him there's a young, intelligent, passionate about world issues, potential leader and future ambassador woman, seating down on a swivel chair at work advertising him for free! So he should do well to pick me for the fellowship award! :D.. Thanking him in advance ;)..

hehehe... For more info on this story, check out Forbes here 

INFIDELITY

Can't believe i haven't blogged in a week! Seems this writer's block is worse than i thought! Oh dear, what to do? (blackberry confused face)..

Anyway yesterday i was reading a blog about a young lady in her early twenties who got married about a year ago and has a kid who is a few months old, and whose husband foolishly impregnated another woman just a year into their marriage (with his mistresses kid now a few weeks old)!!! The topic of debate was should she stick with him or pack her bags and hit the high road? Tough choice! So much for fidelity in marriage... I think what was even more shocking to me was reading the number of comments that had come up on this topic, differing opinions, similar experiences and silly answers as to why she should stick with him. It occurred to me that so much dirty, unpleasant and disheartening stuff goes on behind closed doors in a lot of marriages. i can't tell you the number of people who wrote back to say they had similar experiences, and in all these people NONE was a man!! Go figure?! The onus of fidelity and loyalty in marriage is left on the shoulders of women alone, how convenient! The man cheats and she's expected to forgive him and stick with him no matter what because; 'in sickness and in health till death to us part', 'oh she can't raise the kid alone', 'oh it'll be a negative influence on the child as he grows', 'oh what will people say, less than a year into her marriage and she's divorced'...etc etc etc.... gimme a break!
Now while i can't say for sure what my own reaction would be if i ever found myself in such a scenario (which i won't), i will not encourage anyone to stay in an unhappy marriage filled with betrayal and distrust. As someone said to me yesterday, you can't determine your reaction from an action which is based on assumptions because reactions when it comes realities always change! (i misquote as the English was plenty).. In other words there are no 'what ifs', it won't happen to me so i can't say for sure how I'd react.
I know we are supposed to forgive and forget, but how do you forget when ever so often the other woman is calling your husband and demanding for money to look after his own kid too? How do you forget when your husband has to leave the house sometimes to attend to the needs of the other child in his mother's home (which he is probably paying for)? Its all too emotionally consuming... Anyway to each man his own cup of tea to drink and finish...or not!

I though to share this story cause when i read it on someones blog, i fired away three different comments and i did not hesitate to say i would WALK! So i wanna hear your own views, got anything to say on this??

A STAGNANT LIFE

I wake up each day and it seems so routine.. Now i know why some westerners commit suicide, they feel stagnant! (fear not i ain't suicidal) Its so easy to become stagnant when you realize that everyday is the same;

you wake ,brush your teeth, bathe, eat, off to work, work, back home, watch tv, eat, sleep only to wake again the next day to do the same thing for at least 250 days in a year! Even when you break the routine abit, say you often go out to have fun or you take a holiday, its still the same thing... Life can be monotonous.. Made worse when you're in a job you don't like or you like your job but the pay is crap.. 

I've realized that the best way to enjoy life is to dream and to take up tasks that lead steps closer to realizing your dreams.. 

A vision without a task is but a dream. A task without a vision is drudgery. A vision with a task is the hope of the world- Zimmerman Donald.. 

I thought of my boyfriend when i saw this; he likes to dream and his dreams are big and thats what i admire about him. He dreams so much so that i call him Joseph! He's not afraid to dream.. Another saying goes that a "dream that does not scare you is not big enough"! Which in order words means we need to dream big dreams! 

I'm not used to dreaming anymore. I used to dream i'd be an ambassador someday; that what i have to say will count to millions of people, that i would be an important person because i was doing good and great things for my country, that i would positively influence the negative image my country possesses around the world.. I used to dream...now i don't and my life feels stagnant. 

I'm going to start dreaming again.. For if i can only start dreaming i'd probably start taking closer steps to actualizing my dreams.. People laugh at big dreamers but big dreamers are big achievers. 

After all, who ever got killed by dreaming? No one...They say what a man thinks, he is.. Why can't i think of myself as a VIP of VIPs; a person even the president of the US would love to meet! I don't need to be rich and successful, i need to be successful. The world measures success by riches but thats not what success is.. Success is personal fulfillment and positive global influence. Bill gates is not successful because he is rich; he's successful because he gave us the computer to make life easy. He's impacted the whole world and in doing that he's become rich. That's the kind of success i wish for and will dream for. The ability to focus on positive global impact and in return monetary rewards for that achievement; that's a successful person.

Life gets stagnant because we allow it. Well its time to dust myself up and try again.. Abraham Lincoln kept trying and today, the rest is history!

-- 

THE INCOMPETENCE OF ARTISANS

Tailors, generator guys, plumbers, air-conditioner repairers, housekeepers etc THEY ARE ALL THE SAME; INCOMPETENT!! I've found writing to be a release for me from life's many emotional roller coasters.. Today its borderline frustration.

I gave a tailor three materials to make me outfits, going on two months now, and you wont believe he hasn't sewn any! I'm sure a lot of you reading this have been in the same or similar shoes and you must be laughing out loud now! You see the last thread of patience and understanding in me of artisans has been shoved out of my emotional and compassionate storehouse! They have raged war and unfortunately they are winning...smh.. winning because all i can do is shout, and all they can keep doing is being HIGHLY INCOMPETENT & UNRELIABLE!! What to do?! The saying goes "pick your battles and win them", how do i win this one?? They have the tools and the skills and i don't so i'm dependent on them. Do i learn to fix my generator, sew my clothes, fix the air-conditioner and clean my house all at the same time just so i can no longer be dependent?? Talk of 'jill of all trades'! To be honest i wish i could do those things myself, i'd never employ an artisan again!

Generator man: "I dey for road, i dey come; just give me 30 minutes"....(3 hours later you're still waiting and of course he never shows up)
Air-conditioner repairer: "Ah, i can't come today but i'll be there on Tuesday abeg".... (it's Thursday, you've called him like 5 times and he's not taking his calls)
TAILOR: "I know your cloth should have been ready but there's been no light, i even slept at my shop waiting. Please eh i'll bring your cloth for you on Saturday, no vex. Even people that gave me their material before you, i still never sew their own" (like that is my frigging business!!)... He said Saturday, A WEEK LATER HE HASN'T CALLED NOR SHOWN UP.

Now can you see my frustration? SMH.....As a last straw I've called the tailor this morning and asked him to return all my material, sewn or unsewn, tomorrow morning. I'm fed up!
Oh dear......

DILEMMA OF A PRETTY GIRL

photo from theaishwarya.com

While i have no doubts that Aishwarya Rai (former miss world shown above) had no difficulty in bagging a man (with looks like hers), i know for a fact that this is often NOT the case for a lot if not most pretty girls. Funny topic? Maybe so, but true. I've had some conversations on or similar to this issue. I'll explain what i mean.

A lot of people tend to assume a pretty girl ALWAYS has a boyfriend and hence the guy who's been checking her out with his microscopic visual and mental lenses will likely pass up an opportunity to meet her or date her because in his words "she's GOT TO HAVE a boyfriend!". This is not to say that the only reason he'd pass up on her is  because she's pretty, but often times that cliche comes to play when it comes to meet and greet! If you differ on this opinion, ask the guys around and you'll be surprised. "She probably has a line of up of guys after her"; "too hot to handle, why would she look my way"; "i can't afford her".. just some of their tots.. 
Example: a colleague of mine who was engaged to be married last month had the hots for me before he got engaged but never had the courage to ask if i would date him because he 'heard' and 'assumed' i had a boyfriend! Newsflash, at the time he heard and assumed i was in a relationship, he was wrong! See what i mean now? Now i ask myself where he heard i had a boyfriend from since i don't let my private life out in the open to any of my colleagues?! Simple, it was a natural assumption that there's no way in God's green earth a 'pretty and nice' girl (not to pomp myself or anything but heyyyy..:) like myself would be single and hence he missed what might have been his chance! (not like i'm into office romance anywayz). 

Second example: I was watching a western movie yesterday (crappy one by the way) and a very pretty girl was complaining to her friend that no one asked her to the prom the year before because they all assumed she's got to have a boyfriend since she's so hottt! Now though its just a movie, often times there's truth behind what we see and hear. It got me thinking back to the few conversations I've had with guys on this topic. Most (not all o) guys who admire a pretty girl and assume she has a boyfriend may go one step further to hit on her but they'd make up their minds to NOT be serious with her (just in case). Guys, true or false? Think before you answer.. Even when they hear she's singles, some tend to still not believe and hence step in through the door with one leg out! Before i had a boyfriend, i was single for a looooooooooooong time (too long for me to remember); now don't get me wrong, i had 'toasters' but they weren't exactly my type! Some friends accused me of being picky and others wondered if i was lesbo (God forbid). None of the above. I was me... Not one or two but several guys whom i met ALWAYS assumed i had a boyfriend and were somewhat surprised to hear i didn't. I don't know if the assumption is because statistically most people are IN relationships or if the assumption was simply the clichéd mindset that pretty girls have hotties! Whatever the case, that's what they thought. Some guys however are more motivated by the sight of a pretty face and don't give a rat's ass if she's single or double. They see it, like it, want it and go after it! And yes sometimes, they get it! Just to confirm my tots on this, i spoke with a few female friends as well and they concurred on the stereotype of PRETTY FACE= MUST HAVE BF! Infact one girl told me some guys were admiring her friend's pictures on facebook and said to each other in Pidgin English: "this girl fine o, but she go get boyfriend na"  (in English: the girl is fine o, but she surely has a boyfriend) (and she didn't) hence he wrote off asking her out... He however stepped out of his assumption by asking and marrying her eventually,  when he was kindly informed by his brother that she was single. Perfect example of the dilemma of a pretty girl and perfect proof of the phrase that "assumption is the termite of relationships (or lack of it"

I guess what I'm trying to say ultimately is; when you see something or someone you like and want; make an effort to meaningfully go after it or her, she just might have been waiting for YOU to ask her all along *winks*

I mean what have you got to lose right?? :)

TEXTING WHEN ANGRY

Just when I thought I was beginning to have writer's block, I start to have dramatic days that allows me to have stories to write on my blog!
It is safe to say that "sh%* inevitably hit the fan" last night! What happened? Hmm.... I had a heated row with a friend last night and I was royally pissed! You know when your so angry that you feel like you have to vent out to avoid exploding? Well I decided to vent out by sharing the story with my twin sister via blackberry messages and of course I ended up sending the message to my friend whom I had the argument with!!!!!! Ooops and Ouch!! I'm sure you're wondering at this point "oh my, what did she say"?? Well what I said wasn't so nasty or bad but it wasn't exactly Christlike either soo hey..... To be honest I can't say i'm sorry I said it cause i meant it. I am however sorry that I sent it to her accidentally! For the life of me I don't know how I managed to do that??! Oh well...sh% happens! That's why it is a very baddddd idea to text when angry! NEVER do it, I talk from experience and it can have rippling negative effects that could last a lifetime! Sighs...
For me I guess what is more ironical about all this is the fact that I recently blogged about "anger" and about "the flaming untamed tongue"...then so quickly I fall victim and I fail to relent! Reminds me of the scripture that says, "starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out (Prov 17:14)".. The funny thing is I didn't know this scripture until after we quarreled last night and i decided to study my bible and when I saw it I was like "wayyy to go, perfect timing" (of course in sarcasm)... Not that I didn't know better and God knows I never set out to have an argument when we started out the conversation but iI guess these things do happen.

Anyway I know better now and sometimes it takes stuff like this happening to keep a tighter rein on one's tongue. I'll do my best to speak less when such tensions arise... That's my 'lessons learnt'!~

NEVER TEXT WHEN ANGRY! www.kirotv.com 

A weekend away

Hi guys! I've missed blogging so much! I've had a very busy past week between traveling to Benin for easter to spend time with my brother and his family, and running after my 16month old adorable niece who right now has stolen my heart for a lifetime! All in all it's been  a fabulous week and i wish the holiday could continue forever... if wishes were wands, we'd all be rich...sighs...

Speaking of my trip to Benin reminds me of the hassle i encountered to get to the airport on Thursday afternoon, i'll share my encounter with you. I tell you traffic in Lagos is shortening longevity in this country, no doubt. My journey to the airport started a few minutes before half past 1 in the afternoon and a trip that should normally take 45minutes from Lekki to Ikeja took twice the time (an hour and a half).
Issue 1: I and my colleague were supposed to hitch a ride with one of the MDs but later reconsidered due to the rumor of traffic on the road. So we decided to take a ferry across water from Lekki to Ikoyi to cut off most of the traffic and i guess i can say it was a wise decision.
Issue 2: We were going to two different airports and decided to share cabs since the airports are within close proximity of each other. The cab driver blatantly refused that he would make the 5 minutes apart trip between the two airports even at an increased cost of the cab fare. So which means one of us would have to get down and continue on foot. Having less luggage i agreed to continuing on foot.
Issue 3: The cab had no air conditioning so you can only imagine the immense heat and exhaust fumes which we were baptized with en-route to the airport, it wasn't pleasant. Then we got to Ikeja (which is were the airport is) and were held up in traffic! Deciding to sit out the traffic would have meant missing our flights so we decided to get down and take an okada (aka motorbike) to the airport for the rest of the journey.
Issue 4: The rest of the journey between where we got off the cab and the airport was like a 10 minutes bike ride (i'm not good at calculating distances but maybe that's less or about 2miles) and on a good day shouldn't have cost more than a N100 bucks (less than a dollar). But guess what?! The okada drivers were charging exactly 15 times that price, N1500 frigging bucks for a 10minutes ride!! The catch of course being that they know your heading to catch a flight and that inevitably makes you desperate and is a golden opportunity for them!     Well i refused to fall for such a trap and decided to give a few more bikes a shot to see if anyone was gonna charge less! (I had about 45 minutes to flight departure) So i guess i can say i wasn't desperate yet!
Issue 5: No bikes were forthcoming! The traffic was horrendous and was exactly what we say in naija BUMPER TO BUMPER. The few bikes that passed by had passengers on them, the ones that didn't have passengers weren't commercial, and the few that were commercial were ridiculously overpriced! And that is how i stood for almost 15 minutes under the blazing sun, hand luggage in hand looking like a lost puppy, praying to God that a bike would come by and i would humbly pay the 1500, as long as i was out of the sun and on my way (as i now had just 30mins to flight departure)! My colleague of course left the minute we got off the cab (not knowing she was gonna cough up 1500), only for her to arrive at the airport and given a stupendous bill which she was forced to pay! Lool..
Issue 6: Okada finally arrives and agrees to take me to the airport at 5 times the usual price, N500, i quickly accept and off we go to the airport! I rush to the check in point and meet a queue and humbly take my position at the back of the queue. Of course as with most things in this country, they take their time to process boarding passes and it occurs to me that "as usual", ARIK Air is going to be late! That airline is infamous to always having delayed flights and in this case they didn't fail to live up to their reputation. Finally get my boarding pass and head to the waiting lounge to hear that the flight is delayed and by this time the hour on the clock is flight departure time. I take a seat and fall asleep after the loong assiduous task of getting to the airport!

Finally an hour and a half later from the original scheduled flight take off time, we get to board and head to Benin, which by the way is just a 35minutes flight! Being such a short flight there is no in-flight snacks and FYI i was starving and hence had to manage the cup of water which i was given. I finally get to Benin in one piece and am happily welcomed by family which made the journey all worthwhile.
So that's my Lagos traffic story oo.. How grateful i am to live so close to my office, i wouldn't trade that comfort for a million bucks!

THE FLAMING TONGUE

Photo from http://cae2k.com 

You married me to love me and look after me, so why are you hitting me? Why am I going through such torture every month with a swollen eye and a painful body? Why did you shove my head down the toilet bowl while I was 7 months pregnant? Why did you beat me till I miscarried our 3 months old baby? … Why am I still married to you? Some of the thoughts that go through the minds of abused women...

I always vowed that I would not hesitate to leave (divorce) any man who would lay his hands on me that wasn’t for a pleasurable reason (easier said than done). Honestly I don’t understand why a man would beat his wife to the point of shoving her head down the toilet bowl or beat a woman till she miscarries his child?! Believe it or not, it happened. Now to be fair on the guys, women have their own share of rage. Just recently I heard of a pregnant woman who stabbed and killed her husband out of anger. Reason she did that? I don’t know but all I can wonder is how can someone get so angry to do such?! “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” it’s not a biblical verse but it is a true verse. Women have been known to be extremely volatile when scorned, so guys beware! I hope I never be that kind of woman. I don’t know why some men derive pleasure in beating women but it’s clear that such men are desperately in need of help and those women battered are in need of life saving intervention.  When asked why they are still with the man in question, they say “he loves me but he can’t control his temper”… they make excuses for his bad behavior, in part believing that they deserve to be beaten for their stubbornness. You’re not a kid who needs the rod of correction, you’re a prized possession bought at a high price, a daughter of the King; so don’t let any man treat you as less. Granted, a woman’s greatest weapon is her mouth and a man’s weapon is his hands. It is right to say that the mouth is as sharp as a double-edged sword, able to preserve life or cause death…  Even the bible refers to the tongue as “Untamable” it says “the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity” (James 3:6)… It further likens the tongue to “a little fire that kindles a great forest”…  James 3. So people have to be careful what they say and whom they say it to. Not everyone has the gift of self-control or the ability to mortify the evil desires of the flesh (in this case rage).  The power of your words determines if you walk away with a slap or not!

I had a conversation with someone recently and I asked him what he would do if he found out his wife cheated on him, he said ‘he would be furious and confused and can’t say for sure what he would do but he was certain that he wouldn’t divorce her and that his reaction would depend largely on her demeanor and answers to questions on her infidelity’, food for thought.  It got me thinking; some other men would probably pounce on their wives, beat the living daylights out of her and send her back to her father’s house! Deserved? No. No woman deserves to be beaten by any man no matter the circumstances. Then he asked me what I would do if I found out my husband was cheating and I said pretty much the same thing, I would find it somewhere within me to forgive but only if he is remorseful and if he wasn’t, I’d become Angela Bassett in ‘Waiting To Exhale’, burn his car with all his stuff inside (laughs). But after burning it how much relief would one get? Not much… the deed has been done and cannot be undone. I cite this example to show some of the possible reactions people have in difficult situations, be it infidelity or rage over spoken words, we all have the tendency to become volatile.

With that said, let us be mindful of the things we say.  Robert Morris in his book “The Power of your Words” said that there are three types of people:

1. Those who think before they speak

2.Those who think while they speak

3. And those who think after they speak.

Which one are you?