THE FLAMING TONGUE

Photo from http://cae2k.com 

You married me to love me and look after me, so why are you hitting me? Why am I going through such torture every month with a swollen eye and a painful body? Why did you shove my head down the toilet bowl while I was 7 months pregnant? Why did you beat me till I miscarried our 3 months old baby? … Why am I still married to you? Some of the thoughts that go through the minds of abused women...

I always vowed that I would not hesitate to leave (divorce) any man who would lay his hands on me that wasn’t for a pleasurable reason (easier said than done). Honestly I don’t understand why a man would beat his wife to the point of shoving her head down the toilet bowl or beat a woman till she miscarries his child?! Believe it or not, it happened. Now to be fair on the guys, women have their own share of rage. Just recently I heard of a pregnant woman who stabbed and killed her husband out of anger. Reason she did that? I don’t know but all I can wonder is how can someone get so angry to do such?! “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” it’s not a biblical verse but it is a true verse. Women have been known to be extremely volatile when scorned, so guys beware! I hope I never be that kind of woman. I don’t know why some men derive pleasure in beating women but it’s clear that such men are desperately in need of help and those women battered are in need of life saving intervention.  When asked why they are still with the man in question, they say “he loves me but he can’t control his temper”… they make excuses for his bad behavior, in part believing that they deserve to be beaten for their stubbornness. You’re not a kid who needs the rod of correction, you’re a prized possession bought at a high price, a daughter of the King; so don’t let any man treat you as less. Granted, a woman’s greatest weapon is her mouth and a man’s weapon is his hands. It is right to say that the mouth is as sharp as a double-edged sword, able to preserve life or cause death…  Even the bible refers to the tongue as “Untamable” it says “the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity” (James 3:6)… It further likens the tongue to “a little fire that kindles a great forest”…  James 3. So people have to be careful what they say and whom they say it to. Not everyone has the gift of self-control or the ability to mortify the evil desires of the flesh (in this case rage).  The power of your words determines if you walk away with a slap or not!

I had a conversation with someone recently and I asked him what he would do if he found out his wife cheated on him, he said ‘he would be furious and confused and can’t say for sure what he would do but he was certain that he wouldn’t divorce her and that his reaction would depend largely on her demeanor and answers to questions on her infidelity’, food for thought.  It got me thinking; some other men would probably pounce on their wives, beat the living daylights out of her and send her back to her father’s house! Deserved? No. No woman deserves to be beaten by any man no matter the circumstances. Then he asked me what I would do if I found out my husband was cheating and I said pretty much the same thing, I would find it somewhere within me to forgive but only if he is remorseful and if he wasn’t, I’d become Angela Bassett in ‘Waiting To Exhale’, burn his car with all his stuff inside (laughs). But after burning it how much relief would one get? Not much… the deed has been done and cannot be undone. I cite this example to show some of the possible reactions people have in difficult situations, be it infidelity or rage over spoken words, we all have the tendency to become volatile.

With that said, let us be mindful of the things we say.  Robert Morris in his book “The Power of your Words” said that there are three types of people:

1. Those who think before they speak

2.Those who think while they speak

3. And those who think after they speak.

Which one are you?