Memories of 2012

Wow, today is the last day of 2012 and what better way to end it than to blog about the wonderful blessings I received this year?! Where do I start from? Probably the most amazing gift I have received this year is the gift of LIFE! Life is something a lot of people, without realizing it, take for granted. OK every now and then we wake up in the morning and thank God that we are alive and we may say it so often that it becomes cliche. If you however take a few moments, pause and think about all the people who lost their lives this year either through accidents, ill-health or being in the wrong place at the wrong/right time, then perhaps your perspective on being alive till 31st December 2012 will change. We live in a world where terrible things happen on a daily basis to people around us, be it strangers or friends. And while we can sometimes relate with the sufferings of those around us, to be completely removed from calamities, disasters or a state of mourning calls for a celebration of life and shouts of thanksgiving to the giver of life! And so I start the first half of this post by dedicating this poem to my maker (PS: writing poems ain't my forte so don't cringe if I don't quite rhyme, God still loves it! :) :

As I sit and ponder at the love you give
My heart wonders why I live?
I believe you have a purpose for me
One which only you can let be
Saved by your amnesty 
I stand in awe of your majesty
Alive to sing of your praise
I will worship you all of my days! 
Selah!!!

My second blessing for the year is for the gift of family. Family are the earthly beings who define what unconditional love is! Whether a good egg or bad, sad or happy, poor or rich, fat or thin, ugly or beautiful, family will love you unconditionally. I dedicate this next poem to my family:

Family are like diamonds, they shine bright as long as you got them
Family are like precious stones, they remain precious by defacto
Family are like love, they last forever!

I love my family; Papi Ray, Arukakwa, Papa Dozy, Och, Charlo, Miana and Chiro! We are entering 2013 as one formidable force set apart to make a difference in our world!

My third blessing for the year is for the gift of love. I need not define love to you for the definition of love is summed up in 1 Corinthians 13. From this scripture, my favorite verse is ^{13 "}And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love". Love is the greatest gift God has given to us and I am blessed to say that I have found love and love has found me! Love found me in a man who has been pivotal in teaching me what unconditional love means. Patiently and lovingly, he has waited for a looong time for part of God's will and purpose to be discovered and achieved in our lives and that patience has persevered and paid of because............let's just say 2013 is full of many pleasant surprises and even more knee humbling memories! So this next poem is for you Mio ;)

Long ago you came my way
Far away you lingered day by day
One to eight you patiently sought to wait 
Now today I'm yours to take :D
Te amor mi amor!

And lastly my final blessing for 2012 is my Msc. in Engineering Business Management with a "Distinction" from the University of Warwick!!! Wooohooo! Awesome God, thank you for showing the world that the fear of You, determination or faith and hardwork are the keys to succeed and achieving goals!

On this note I can end this blog post which by the way took me over 12 hours to compose considering I've had my laptop open the whole day and been distracted most of the time, whew!

I wish everyone a blessed, fruitful, happy, prosperous, peace and hope filled 2013 and I pray that Proverbs 3: 5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in ALL of your ways and He shall direct your path".

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!

Dilemma of a pretty girl

A friend of mine was telling me a story of a hookup gone cold because the guy she was being hooked up with, thought she was "too pretty to be single" and hence he was potentially wasting his time!! I was deeply perplexed on why pretty girls seem to scare men off! Guys, what's the problem??

So she's drop dead gorgeous but does that mean she has a boyfriend? No. The dilemma of pretty girls is that potential boyfriends or even husbands make assumptions about their relationship status and no one dares to make a move because of the fear of rejection. Newsflash guys, a pretty face is not licence to a lineup of suitors. Not to blow my own trumpet, but I could relate with my friend's story because a couple of times I got to hear the same thing about myself and I remember being slightly peeved as to why a guy could not approach me to ask questions instead of making assumptions. Now I know that some pretty girls look unapproachable and this does not necessarily have anything to do with their character. I'll use myself for example. In university I was told by many that I often had a "shove off my face" expression and so guys were skeptical about coming to talk to me. I found it to be news to me as I was not aware that I was expected to go around with a smile on my face!! Lol.. Now that is taking it a bit far but what I am trying to say is that my facial expressions when walking are not suited to a specific mood and because I was not deliberately trying to get hitched, there is no way I was going to go around with a look on my face that says, "hey dude, I'm single and available so feel free to try your luck". My expressions were just my expressions and nothing more! Anyway, not to digress from the subject, the introduction of facial expressions was to allay some of your likely assumptions that pretty girls remain single because they are either already hitched or unapproachable as a result of their character or facial expressions.

I know this is not such a serious problem because any real man who sees and knows what he wants will go after it like a deer pants for water! I can testify *winks* :)...

A word to the guys...... if you see a pretty girl whom you are attracted to please walk up to her and try your luck, you just never know! ;).. And if you are too nervous to ask her, look for her friend and ask questions, don''t make assumptions! As I normally say, "assumption is a termite"! (Don't ask what it means, think about it for yourself with your God given brain!)

Tots,
Coco Chinny aka Mrs E ;)

The power of your words

The world is a very superficial place.people will often judge you based on what you look like; the clothes you wear,  your hair, legs, nails and even the shape of your nose! It amazes me how callous people can be when talking. Recently I've heard all sorts in the form of 'joke' and I'm thinking that surely people should know when to draw the line on a joke. Let me share my stories and that of others and judge for yourselves if its insensitive or not:

"When you're pregnant na only nose we go dey see for your face"

"I'm sick of your hair, we gave up on that hair 12years ago please"

"Wow you're fat, where is that your small husband"

"Your legs are like broomsticks"

"When are you going to get pregnant, its been several years already" 

"You're getting too fat, lose some weight"

Etc etc etc
While these jokes are funny initially, they are utterly insensitive. First of all, Neither you nor I created a person, so what gives us the right to judge them? Secondly, did it ever occur to you that the recipient of your unkind words already feels conscious about their so-called "imperfections" and would prefer to be different? Thirdly, just because no one has told you that you have body odor, your mouth stinks or your teeth looks like something out of "Jaws" doesn't mean they haven't noticed!
The truth behind "jokes" is that it's a form of bullying and it affects some peoples self esteem. Saying crude jokes is also a way to personally validate yourself by putting someone else down, so guess what? You probably have self-esteem issues! I had a friend tell me recently that I should please make no comments when I see her because she's gotten way bigger than she used to be. While I'm not one to run my mouth before thinking, I wondered at how many of our mutual or her friends had made insensitive comments about her size to get her to warn me in advance!! Clearly her self-esteem is bruised and it got me upset. People just don't think before speaking and its a sign of foolishness.

God wasn't sleeping the day he formed me or you,  as a matter of fact He said that "You and I are fearfully and wonderfully made, MARVELOUS are HIS  works and this our soul knows very well (psalm 139:14)". Now it's up to you to interpret fearfully whichever way you desire but fearfully to me means that everyone should respect and fear God's creation. So next time you feel like running your mouth in a haste, stop and think for a moment how your words may affect the next person.

I won't extricate myself from having spoken callously before and I regret how my words may have hurt someone but I guess experience is truly the best teacher because I have come to a place of understanding and I'll never do it again nor tolerate it from someone else.

Food for thought people, get thinking before speaking.....

Coco C

Letters to God

With so much time on my hands, I spend my days in front of my PC and the TV. Life can be ironic. Only a month ago, I was too busy to find time to watch TV and now I'm tired of it. Oh well, c'est la vie..

Now unto my thoughts for the day... I saw a movie today called "Letters to God". This movie is based on a true life story about a little boy struggling with cancer but living with remarkable faith, hope and love in spite all of his pain. This 10 year old kid wrote letters to God everyday and after writing the letter, he would post it through the mailman! Post it to where?? Even if man wanted to create the fastest rocket and come up with a way to reach His house, God is in a physical address that is physically unreachable! I wondered where this kid thought his letters would go to. The mailman stacked the boy's letters and held onto them for weeks, not knowing what to do with it. He dropped it off in a church but the preacher caught him doing so and told him to go with it because perhaps God wanted the mailman to have the letters. Finally, he read the letters and got saved because of this little boy who selflessly talked to God about everyone who loved him. Another irony is that in his letters, the little boy wasn't praying to get better or questioning God as to why he had to go through the suffering, he rather talked to God about the seemingly mundane things of life.. He told God to help his friends, help his mother, he talked about the things he did everyday...He put aside his fears, frustration and pain and he embraced faith, peace, love and joy! He told his mother "that if he died he was thankful God allowed his neighbor to give birth to a cute baby boy who would be his replacement on earth". He said so he because he believed that for every death, there would be a life.. He had a childlike but wise spirit. He finally died but not before leading many people to God through his letters which inspired them to start writing their own letters to God and posting them...

It got me thinking about the way we pray these days, its often a quick 5 to 10 mins affair and if we're feeling generous to God, an extra 5 mins thanking God for everything but most likely putting in a request list that is longer than the gratitude list. Nothing wrong with it but I believe we can do more. What if when you got to your office, you take a few extra minutes and write God a lovely letter. Talk to Him about anything you want to, but just make that time, thoughts and paper, His own. Its a pity the postal system in this country is messed up if not I'd have suggested you post the letter! It'll probably get thrown out or maybe someone would open the letter and get inspired or saved. You could also write the letter and leave it on a colleagues table (if you're gonna do that, remember to pray for the colleague). Whatever you decide to do or not do, just remember to write God a letter as often as you remember.

To inspire you, i'll start with one;

Dear God,

I believe you wanted me to watch this movie today so that I could shed a few sympathy tears, and get inspiration to write on this blog which I keep remembering but being lazy to attend to. I don't know how many people read my blog but even if its just 1 person, I would like it Lord if you can speak to that person today. Remind them Lord, of who You are and of your purpose for their life. Let them understand and remember that they are letters, written not with ink on tablets of stone, but with the Spirit of the living God on tablets of human hearts (2 Corinthians 3:3) in the form of their families and friends, including me.  

Thank you Lord for your unconditional love and remind us to write letters to you as often as we can in Jesus name. Amen.

Your daughter,

Chinny.

For the love of money

Dear Readers,

I saw a movie today called "The Box" and I remember thinking what an odd title for a movie.. What was even more odd was the movie itself by the time it was halfway through. I was sitting in front of my pc in the living room battling with the internet (Nigerian internet connection is story for another day) and job applications when my eye caught the movie. I really wanted to get on with the job application but then something about the movie drew my attention and I called it quits with the internet. 

To summarize the movie, a regular couple with a kid fall prey to the clutches of greed and the lust for more than what one should have, especially if not obtained through credible means. Imagine you wake up one morning and a package wrapped in a box is in front of your door, you open the package and you find an even more exotic looking box and all you see is a button to press. The box comes with a note telling you to expect a visit from someone at a certain time of the day. Your visitor shows up and you open the door to the most scary looking man you've seen in your life. He's scary but his manners precede his looks and so you invite him into your house because your curiosity gets the best of you (after all, we're only human) and you want to know why this box has been delivered to you. The stranger tells you that you have 2 choices: "you press the button and somewhere in the world, a stranger unknown to you dies and you receive a million dollars!!!" OR " you don't press the button and you don't get a million dollars, and he comes back the next day to retrieve the box and its as though the event never happened". What would you do? Option #1 or option #2? Think about it carefully before you answer within yourself... Imagine that this money would: pay your child's school fees, take care of your mother's hospital bills because she's ill with cancer, you'd be able to get rid of your rickety second hand car which you've driven for as long as you cared to remember, your wife could afford new clothes and a holiday which she's been nagging you about and lastly your landlord wouldn't have legal right to kick you out of his house because you've been living in it rent free for 6months!! Whew, talk about a 'blessing' in disguise right?? 

So you and your wife have 24 hours to make the decision and you tell yourself "there's no catch to the offer because someone unknown to you somewhere in the world would die anyway and besides, we're all gonna die someday right?!"... So you did it, you pressed the button and guess what happens next?  You get the million dollars and instantly you can't believe what you've done! Your conscience eats at you and you don't want the cash anymore but its too late, Pandora's box has been unleashed! Your life for the next couple of days is a living hell, you can't make sense of what is going on, the voice of conscience and morality speaks through strangers to your soul, you can't spend the money because its ill gotten, the strange man won't stop calling you and you feel like you're soaking up the heat from hell. You want OUT of this nightmare, you wish it was a dream but its real, so real that your son is kidnapped and when he comes back to you., he's blind and deaf and there's only one way to undo this mistake.. "kill your wife (she pushed the button, go figure!! its always the women bringing the men down aye? thanks eve!) and your son's senses are restored OR enjoy the million dollars for the rest of your life but live with the consequences of your actions at the peril of your son's sanity"... Wow, talk about "everything that can go wrong, going wrong", all because you made a mistake...

This movie was kinda scary but it was deep and soul searching and those with a third eye can appreciate the moral of the story.. And so I ask this question, "how far would you go for the love of money?"... Its easy to think that you could never do something like this, and yes you're probably right to think that you wouldn't go as far as indirectly taking another human life for money. What if it wasn't a life at stake but someone's job, or a company's financial stability, or even your job? Worse still, what if your soul was at stake all because of your desire for more money?....

This movie is not just about money, its about the choices that we make and the waterfall effect they have on us, other people and outcomes. Think about how the way you live your life reflects on other people and more importantly on your soul.. Where do we draw the line between our desires and our conscience? 

Food for thought... 

Coco Chinny. 

The Best Things in Life Are Free

Hello fellow bloggers and blog readers! Been awhile I came on this blog I sadly must say.. The last two times I visited MY poor abandoned blog, it wasn't pleasant.. Anyway I am here on a lighter and pleasant note and from the title of this post you should be able to tell!

Luther Vandross and Janet Jackson knew exactly what they were talking about when they said "the best things in life are free"! I'm beginning to think everyone should have a poster up on their wall which says so! Yesterday I was at the train station waiting for my friends to buy their tickets so we could head to a Ballet, when someone comes up beside me and taps me.. I look down from my elevated height (4 inch purple strap suede shoes) to see a tiny little princess (probably 3 or 4 years old) with her blond hair and her pretty little pink dress smiling at me.. I smile back and try to make out what she's saying when her mum says "she's saying she likes your shoes"! And then I start to smile and say thank you when the princess smiles at me and with arms outstretched and her eyes locked on my shoes says in her cute American accent "I like your shoes"!! I tell you that was the highlight of my day!!! My heart completely melted.. Not because she liked the shoes but because she knew what she liked and she had the courage to say so to a stranger because it would bring her joy! I told her thank you and would have scooped her up and given her a kiss if they were not walking away..

That little act jogged my memory to my thoughts 2 days ago when I thought of my family and wonderful friends and then I said to myself, "the best things in life are free".. They are free because they are so simple and so easy to put smiles on our faces; they cost nothing to receive and nothing to give; they are just free!

It's all about;

The smile of my gorgeous little niece with her big gooey eyes which melts your heart,
The sound of my tiny nephew's voice calling me 'Chika' (which is my twins name and is easier to pronounce than mine)
My mum trying to feed me three meals in one on my recent trip to naija (perhaps she thinks I'm too skinny?")
My twin sending me a blackberry smiley emoticon to say good morning
The inspirational music on my iPad which brings me peace in the midst of a storm
The phone calls from my older sisters who want to know if I'm doing OK in school
The unexpected pleasant gift filled email surprises from my bf 
The messages of appreciation from friends who love me just the way I am

And so on and so forth.. The list is endless but I don't wanna bore you ;).. But you get my drift by now right?!

I'm just happy and I had to share it because happiness is FREE too and should be shared so that we all can truly know and believe that "THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE"!!!

Woohoooo!!!!

Cheers everyone! Enjoy your life, appreciate the little things and be thankful for the big ones!! Caperdiem!

The Inevitable Unknown End

As I sat on a high stool overlooking a busy street in Paris, I stared at all the people old and young, black and white and mixed going about their business....A pretty girl smiling into her phone and crossing the road, a tall blond haired guy in jeans and a blazer briskly crossing the road dragging his suitcase. An asian woman rushing as though her life depended on the speed with which she could go across the road.. A couple walking hand in hand and smiling into each other's eyes, a black blind woman using her stick to make her way.. As I watched them, I thought of Ayoola.... She didn't see what was coming, she was gonna go about her usual business when she got home. Looking into her fiance's eyes and telling him she loves him; rushing off in her car to sort out last minute matters; calling her parents to ask them not to invite half of lagos to her wedding in August and of course attending church gatherings to express her love for her God.

 As I look at this people going past me as I peer through the glass in a boulangerie (breakfast diner) I wonder who'll drop next.. It could be me, but God forbid my life or that of anyone I know to go prematurely.. I don't know the people who go past me but someone else does and someday they'll feel the pain we all do now at this grave loss.. I've asked myself so many times since 3rd june why I checked her status on that fateful grey day... I hadn't chatted wit her since 8th may but in my mind I believed I had.. You see someone else on my phone had a similar name and had pinged me on Saturday so I was certain it was Ayoola.. She said she wanted to travel to paris too and I said she should make sure she does someday. Later, I realised I was chatting with Deola not Ayoola. I don't know why I mixed it up.. I told myself I would check up on Ayoola later. I eventually did, but when I did it was too late and I never got a response. Ayoola was gone..

 We weren't the closest of friends.. But in the short time I knew her, I loved her like I would any other friend. Ayoola was thoughtful, kind, considerate and cheerful. What I remember most about her is her smile and her simplicity. We also shared an appreciation of growing natural hair and she inspired me to grow mine! She always cared that I got bored in Lagos and didn't have as many friends, which shows to me her value on relationships.. My last conversation with her, she thanked me for spamming a bb message that made her laugh. I apologized in advance for missing her wedding and she mentioned my sisters would be there so it was all cool. She made plans and she most likely lived everyday not thinking the inevitable unknown end would happen when she was still 30. But it did and those plans are up in smoke. C'est la vie, as they say in french.. I feel so sad and yet I'm not her family. How deep must their pain run through? How many tears will their eyes produce? Sleepless nights? I can only pray for them as not enough words can be said to heal their pain. God will turn their ashes to an oil of gladness and healing will be theirs eventually for he is the comforter of those who mourn. Let the inevitability and unknowing nature of death stir in us a desire to set our priorities straight and to make amends where necessary. Goodbye Ayoola. You were loved. ------------------

A day I won't Forget

I woke up this morning and like the first thing I do every morning, reached for my phone on top my bedside drawer to check the time and to see what life has been up to whilst men slept! I was in for a rude and emotional shock, a message on my blackberry saying "Whitney Houston is dead"!! My first reaction was physical, my mouth dropped open! I quickly scrolled through the status updates on my phone to see how through this was and typical, display pictures and messages were abuzz with the words "RIP Whitney".. I then checked my social feed from 'Reuters' and the first news on entertainment was that of Whitney's death. Sad, sorry and sympathy are three words I can't help but feel...

Just like so many others may have wondered or thought, I was judgmental in concluding that "drugs have done it again". God forgive me for passing judgment, but sometimes when you see Hollywood and celebs, that's all you see...the devil passionately and successfully clutching the children of God away. I think it would be fair and right to say that EVERY living soul on this planet who has access to technology has at some point in their life sang "A Whitney Song"! She was like the female version of Michael Jackson. I can't count how many times I've sang Whitney's song.. I even have a very funny video of a friend and I dancing our hearts out to "I wanna dance with somebody", we recorded it in 2008 and just recently while cooped up in my 3x3 square inch room on campus I've played the video for good laughs! Its really sad I must admit that Whitney's life and talent is over so soon.. I wish she sang for God alone, perhaps things may have turned out differently. Then again, trials and problems come into our lives as stepping stones to higher ground..

Reminiscing on her songs, one of my best is "Greatest love of all", such an inspirational voice.. And of course the legendary "I will always love you",.. Its funny, most musicians try to switch to movie and appear to be struggling or forcing talent that doesn't necessarily exist. But Whitney was one person who effortlessly made the switch, the success of "I will always love you" is evidence of this.. Indeed she was synonymous with beauty, fame, voice...Raw Talent at its best, that what she was!

Whitney, the world will always love you no matter what. You gave us good entertainment and your songs will forever be heard from our lips and on our radio players.

Whitney laughed, lived, loved and was loved by all regardless of her troubles. I pray God embraces her and says "welcome home my child, please, join my choir of angels and sing to my glory"... Who knows...

If you loved Whitney then pay tribute to her by letting wonderful memories of her into your heart today..

Check out this playlist and reminisce... Also, if you feel up for good laughs, enjoy my dance video below to "I wanna dance with somebody"! I was never gonna show this publicly, but hey, what the heck! Life is too short and in Whitney's words, "I'll live my life the way I feel"!!!

 

:) Alice, I'm sure you don't mind ;) 

THE LINK BELOW IS A PLAYLIST FOR WHITNEY'S ALL TIME CLASSICS!

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL649425759FDDFF7D