TEXTING WHEN ANGRY

Just when I thought I was beginning to have writer's block, I start to have dramatic days that allows me to have stories to write on my blog!
It is safe to say that "sh%* inevitably hit the fan" last night! What happened? Hmm.... I had a heated row with a friend last night and I was royally pissed! You know when your so angry that you feel like you have to vent out to avoid exploding? Well I decided to vent out by sharing the story with my twin sister via blackberry messages and of course I ended up sending the message to my friend whom I had the argument with!!!!!! Ooops and Ouch!! I'm sure you're wondering at this point "oh my, what did she say"?? Well what I said wasn't so nasty or bad but it wasn't exactly Christlike either soo hey..... To be honest I can't say i'm sorry I said it cause i meant it. I am however sorry that I sent it to her accidentally! For the life of me I don't know how I managed to do that??! Oh well...sh% happens! That's why it is a very baddddd idea to text when angry! NEVER do it, I talk from experience and it can have rippling negative effects that could last a lifetime! Sighs...
For me I guess what is more ironical about all this is the fact that I recently blogged about "anger" and about "the flaming untamed tongue"...then so quickly I fall victim and I fail to relent! Reminds me of the scripture that says, "starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out (Prov 17:14)".. The funny thing is I didn't know this scripture until after we quarreled last night and i decided to study my bible and when I saw it I was like "wayyy to go, perfect timing" (of course in sarcasm)... Not that I didn't know better and God knows I never set out to have an argument when we started out the conversation but iI guess these things do happen.

Anyway I know better now and sometimes it takes stuff like this happening to keep a tighter rein on one's tongue. I'll do my best to speak less when such tensions arise... That's my 'lessons learnt'!~

NEVER TEXT WHEN ANGRY! www.kirotv.com 

A weekend away

Hi guys! I've missed blogging so much! I've had a very busy past week between traveling to Benin for easter to spend time with my brother and his family, and running after my 16month old adorable niece who right now has stolen my heart for a lifetime! All in all it's been  a fabulous week and i wish the holiday could continue forever... if wishes were wands, we'd all be rich...sighs...

Speaking of my trip to Benin reminds me of the hassle i encountered to get to the airport on Thursday afternoon, i'll share my encounter with you. I tell you traffic in Lagos is shortening longevity in this country, no doubt. My journey to the airport started a few minutes before half past 1 in the afternoon and a trip that should normally take 45minutes from Lekki to Ikeja took twice the time (an hour and a half).
Issue 1: I and my colleague were supposed to hitch a ride with one of the MDs but later reconsidered due to the rumor of traffic on the road. So we decided to take a ferry across water from Lekki to Ikoyi to cut off most of the traffic and i guess i can say it was a wise decision.
Issue 2: We were going to two different airports and decided to share cabs since the airports are within close proximity of each other. The cab driver blatantly refused that he would make the 5 minutes apart trip between the two airports even at an increased cost of the cab fare. So which means one of us would have to get down and continue on foot. Having less luggage i agreed to continuing on foot.
Issue 3: The cab had no air conditioning so you can only imagine the immense heat and exhaust fumes which we were baptized with en-route to the airport, it wasn't pleasant. Then we got to Ikeja (which is were the airport is) and were held up in traffic! Deciding to sit out the traffic would have meant missing our flights so we decided to get down and take an okada (aka motorbike) to the airport for the rest of the journey.
Issue 4: The rest of the journey between where we got off the cab and the airport was like a 10 minutes bike ride (i'm not good at calculating distances but maybe that's less or about 2miles) and on a good day shouldn't have cost more than a N100 bucks (less than a dollar). But guess what?! The okada drivers were charging exactly 15 times that price, N1500 frigging bucks for a 10minutes ride!! The catch of course being that they know your heading to catch a flight and that inevitably makes you desperate and is a golden opportunity for them!     Well i refused to fall for such a trap and decided to give a few more bikes a shot to see if anyone was gonna charge less! (I had about 45 minutes to flight departure) So i guess i can say i wasn't desperate yet!
Issue 5: No bikes were forthcoming! The traffic was horrendous and was exactly what we say in naija BUMPER TO BUMPER. The few bikes that passed by had passengers on them, the ones that didn't have passengers weren't commercial, and the few that were commercial were ridiculously overpriced! And that is how i stood for almost 15 minutes under the blazing sun, hand luggage in hand looking like a lost puppy, praying to God that a bike would come by and i would humbly pay the 1500, as long as i was out of the sun and on my way (as i now had just 30mins to flight departure)! My colleague of course left the minute we got off the cab (not knowing she was gonna cough up 1500), only for her to arrive at the airport and given a stupendous bill which she was forced to pay! Lool..
Issue 6: Okada finally arrives and agrees to take me to the airport at 5 times the usual price, N500, i quickly accept and off we go to the airport! I rush to the check in point and meet a queue and humbly take my position at the back of the queue. Of course as with most things in this country, they take their time to process boarding passes and it occurs to me that "as usual", ARIK Air is going to be late! That airline is infamous to always having delayed flights and in this case they didn't fail to live up to their reputation. Finally get my boarding pass and head to the waiting lounge to hear that the flight is delayed and by this time the hour on the clock is flight departure time. I take a seat and fall asleep after the loong assiduous task of getting to the airport!

Finally an hour and a half later from the original scheduled flight take off time, we get to board and head to Benin, which by the way is just a 35minutes flight! Being such a short flight there is no in-flight snacks and FYI i was starving and hence had to manage the cup of water which i was given. I finally get to Benin in one piece and am happily welcomed by family which made the journey all worthwhile.
So that's my Lagos traffic story oo.. How grateful i am to live so close to my office, i wouldn't trade that comfort for a million bucks!

THE FLAMING TONGUE

Photo from http://cae2k.com 

You married me to love me and look after me, so why are you hitting me? Why am I going through such torture every month with a swollen eye and a painful body? Why did you shove my head down the toilet bowl while I was 7 months pregnant? Why did you beat me till I miscarried our 3 months old baby? … Why am I still married to you? Some of the thoughts that go through the minds of abused women...

I always vowed that I would not hesitate to leave (divorce) any man who would lay his hands on me that wasn’t for a pleasurable reason (easier said than done). Honestly I don’t understand why a man would beat his wife to the point of shoving her head down the toilet bowl or beat a woman till she miscarries his child?! Believe it or not, it happened. Now to be fair on the guys, women have their own share of rage. Just recently I heard of a pregnant woman who stabbed and killed her husband out of anger. Reason she did that? I don’t know but all I can wonder is how can someone get so angry to do such?! “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” it’s not a biblical verse but it is a true verse. Women have been known to be extremely volatile when scorned, so guys beware! I hope I never be that kind of woman. I don’t know why some men derive pleasure in beating women but it’s clear that such men are desperately in need of help and those women battered are in need of life saving intervention.  When asked why they are still with the man in question, they say “he loves me but he can’t control his temper”… they make excuses for his bad behavior, in part believing that they deserve to be beaten for their stubbornness. You’re not a kid who needs the rod of correction, you’re a prized possession bought at a high price, a daughter of the King; so don’t let any man treat you as less. Granted, a woman’s greatest weapon is her mouth and a man’s weapon is his hands. It is right to say that the mouth is as sharp as a double-edged sword, able to preserve life or cause death…  Even the bible refers to the tongue as “Untamable” it says “the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity” (James 3:6)… It further likens the tongue to “a little fire that kindles a great forest”…  James 3. So people have to be careful what they say and whom they say it to. Not everyone has the gift of self-control or the ability to mortify the evil desires of the flesh (in this case rage).  The power of your words determines if you walk away with a slap or not!

I had a conversation with someone recently and I asked him what he would do if he found out his wife cheated on him, he said ‘he would be furious and confused and can’t say for sure what he would do but he was certain that he wouldn’t divorce her and that his reaction would depend largely on her demeanor and answers to questions on her infidelity’, food for thought.  It got me thinking; some other men would probably pounce on their wives, beat the living daylights out of her and send her back to her father’s house! Deserved? No. No woman deserves to be beaten by any man no matter the circumstances. Then he asked me what I would do if I found out my husband was cheating and I said pretty much the same thing, I would find it somewhere within me to forgive but only if he is remorseful and if he wasn’t, I’d become Angela Bassett in ‘Waiting To Exhale’, burn his car with all his stuff inside (laughs). But after burning it how much relief would one get? Not much… the deed has been done and cannot be undone. I cite this example to show some of the possible reactions people have in difficult situations, be it infidelity or rage over spoken words, we all have the tendency to become volatile.

With that said, let us be mindful of the things we say.  Robert Morris in his book “The Power of your Words” said that there are three types of people:

1. Those who think before they speak

2.Those who think while they speak

3. And those who think after they speak.

Which one are you?

CARRYING AN UNWANTED BABY, SHOULD I ABORT?

Photo from experienceproject.com

I know when you saw my title, an alarm sounded inside of you wondering if I'm preggers?? Hell no I'm not and won't be outside of when i should be! But i don't know why I've been plagued in my mind on this issue, its as though i have become the voice of life that cannot speak for itself.My last post is quite similar to this, how we take care of the life that has been entrusted to us.
I was watching a program on TV yesterday called 12th and Delaware and i was puzzled as to what this world has become! But then again i guess i shouldn't be so surprised since immorality existed 2000 years BC (Sodom and Gomorrah). You see the show was about the fight between good and evil. On one side of the street there was the "Pregnancy Care Center" and on the other side there was the "Abortion Center". How ironical?! One aims to give life and the other aims to take it. I don't know a better comparison to exemplify the fight between standing for what is right and for that which is wrong. Fourteen to Seventeen year old girls pregnant and seeking abortion! My gosh!! If you're gonna do the crime, be ready to do the time should sh@# hit the fan! If you're mature enough to have sex at 14 then be mature enough to keep the child. Why should the innocent child pay for your irresponsible and immoral ways? After all you spread your legs and forgot to be safe! I'm sure if you were uncertain as to my stance on this issue, you now know that i am 110% Pro-Life! I am on the side of the greater good which is to preserve life. Do not get me wrong, i judge you not for deciding to have sex at such a young age, but lets face it, you were foolish and now you have a price to pay so be mature about it and bear the consequences.
I have come to a point in my life where i no longer want to be lukewarm, bending over on morals or laws at my own convenience. I have to be hot or cold, for or against, black or white, no shades of grey... And yet while i choose to stand for what is right the vicissitudes of life sometimes test and question my quest for unflinching integrity. I cite examples:

• Walking home late from work on a lonely road, two guys grab me from behind and rape me... I put on what is left of my dignity, cry my eyes out, get depressed etc etc and forget the most important thing which is to protect myself from pregnancy. Two months later i find out I'm pregnant! What do i do? Remember i said i am pro-life, (being a God fearing Christian) how do i tackle this one?? First answer on my mind is; find the first abortion clinic and get rid of it! Conscience answer is WWJD? (my conscience is my biggest Achilles heel mind you)

What would Jesus tell me? He would say "My child, a gift is a child no matter the circumstances. I gave him to you, keep him, love him and i will love you and look after both of you. Your pain from the rape? I will heal you. I was there when it happened and i cried with you because i couldn't stop the man's freewill (which i gave him for his control) to do right or wrong by you." 

My answer; "I love you Lord, i really do but that which you ask of me is hard... How can i love this thing growing inside of me when i never sought nor wanted it? How can i look at the child and not remember the night i struggle everyday of my life to forget? Who will i tell the child is his or her father? Who do i tell the world is the father of the baby growing inside of me? How could you let this happen to me?"... Its too hard Lord, i can't do it. I know i said i would never kill but how can i not kill now? What do i do? Give it up for adoption? Possibly give up the child to an even worse life than abortion, should he fall into the hands of evil foster parents? God this seems like a no-brainer to be rid of this thing inside of me!"....

My Conscience; You can't kill this child... You just can't.. 

Now this is what you call Conflict of Interest from a biblical perspective! Why has life got to be so darn complicated? 

While i don't have the answers to it all, i don't wish or pray such a traumatic experience on even my enemy so lets just pretend that such a conflict of interest never comes up! 

I guess the point of this all is for us to judge for ourselves, examine the truth and stand for what we believe in no matter the circumstances... And there are some things we just cant explain or answer with our human wisdom so when such scenarios come up i suggest the best thing to do is maintain silence....it is known to be golden. 

Children, HERITAGE from God

Children are a heritage from the Lord. Children are a reward from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). Children are a source of joy and happiness. Young they may be now, but GREAT tomorrow…  Children are to be cherished, nourished and protected. Their presence is heartwarming, smiles lights up the faintest hearts, laughter sounding like a canorous whistle of a meadowlark and their hugs heart melting. This is who children are; small, big, black, white or brown, poor or rich- they are God’s special gift to man.

Some have lots of children, some just enough, some just one (and not by choice but condition), some none (by choice and not), some get them but discard them; some take the discarded ones and love them like they were from their wombs.  Some say a fetus is not a child; it’s a thing of which there should be no sentimental attachment in discarding as though they were a piece of rag.  Some kill, steal or sell their souls to have them and love them, some have them but hate them; some have them and will die to protect them; some yearn for them night and day and cry their hearts out to feel the warmth of a child in their arms; some kill them. They destroy a gift from their maker. They destroy a child that would have been a president, a doctor, teacher, nurse, athlete, musician, engineer, a preacher, a king. They destroy a nation, for A Child is God’s chosen Nation. An ambassador of His will and works on earth, A carrier of the message of life, A GENERAL in God’s army, A citizen of heaven! This is who they kill. Its saddening…

Sarah, do you know her? She was 90 when she had a child, well past her biological clock; well past menopause. How possible right?? They laughed when they heard it, even though they feared and revered God, they limited His supremacy in doing the impossible (Gen 17:17, Gen 18: 12). If it was me I would have laughed too, it’s impossible I would have said! I would have gone forward to presume God was speaking metaphorically, you know like He sometimes does…  Who would blame Abraham and Sarah? At that moment of declaration, they forgot who God is! They forgot that he created life, breathed air into their lungs and gave them power to live. They forgot that He said, “Is anything too hard for the Lord”? (Gen 18:14, Jer 32:27). They laughed at the preposterous message from the thundering voice of the Lord. They doubted… But He did not relent. He blessed them regardless of their unbelief; he blessed them regardless of their seeming unworthiness. That’s the thing about God; He chooses whom He blesses and how He blesses them regardless of whom you are or how much your faith is. Heck you don’t even have to be righteous to receive His blessings (Matthew 5:45). He just does it. His mercy is boundless, limitless and surely superfluously generous to those whom He finds favor in. He is God, we can’t cage His abilities.

 You don’t have a child and you want a child? Just believe and sing! Break forth with cries for He has promised that many are the children of the barren woman than the children of the married woman (Isaiah 54:1). The world will scorn nor shame you no more, He has promised and He is faithful to His word. Though he tarries, He will bring it to pass. Have faith for there is no failure in Him.

You have a child and you don’t want the child? Where and who would you be today without your maker? Do you realize He has rewarded you unjustifiably if he were to judge by your character? He has rewarded you because though you sin or reject Him, He still loves you. Be wise, love your child and train Him/her for they belong to your maker.

You have an unwanted fetus in your womb? Please, I beg you with the love of the Lord, keep the child… For He has said, thou shall not kill. That fetus with a heart that beats is a king and a nation. You call it “IT”; He calls IT “My child”. You worry on what your friends will say or what your parents will think of you? Who are they to judge you? They are dust, their words count not. You worry on how you will look after the child? The Lord who looks after the birds of the air cannot forget you who are of more value than they (Luke 12: 22-28). Someone somewhere would rather have your fetus than a million dollars; someone somewhere cries herself to sleep at night wishing she could feel that tiny kick of life from her womb; someone somewhere would rather be YOU. Don’t take that smile away; don’t reject the gift of your heavenly father.

You have a child and you love your child? Well done. Follow his command in Proverbs 22:6- train him in the way he should go and even when he is old, he will not depart from it. If you do so, He will reward you with Isaiah 54:13- He will teach your children and great shall be their peace!

CHILDREN ARE A HERITAGE FROM THE LORD, LOVE THEM AND TEACH THEM TO LOVE THE LORD!!

Too cute not to love!

Half Full or Half Empty?

I always wondered what that statement means, "is the glass half full or half empty".. To me it felt like two different ways of asking the same thing, which in summary is "what is the water level in the glass?!" Laugh out loud.. Rather myopic way of interpreting the statement. But then again you can't blame me, its easy to be myopic in thinking if you fail to build your intellectual capacity by reading to acquire knowledge. For those who do not know, the expression is to compare "OPTIMISM and PESSIMISM"

EMPTY GLASS, HALF FULL GLASS & FULL GLASS

I'm reminded of this proverbial phrase when i read a post this morning, written by a friend who spoke of the optimistic nature of her mother who never sees the glass as half empty. Looking at the picture above makes me realize that in most situations in my life, i remain a half full glass, hardly ever attaining fullness because i choose pessimism. I only become full when its convenient for me and when my faith is 10/10. I'm a Christian woman, i study my bible, i go to church, i try to live Christlike, i pray and i ask God for strength to persevere in the days of adversity, for they will surely come. Yet when those days come, i begin to stumble, my heart grows weak, my strength fails me, His word is thrown out of my Hippocampus, the guy in the brain who is all about memory and a little about learning, and i begin to see the glass as half empty. For you see at that time all i see is the darkness in the tunnel, I'm gripped with fear and anger that He let me get in half way through the tunnel and then turned off the lights just when i began to run with a smile on my face...why would you let me in only to shut me out? Some of the questions that pass through my head.. And even when a whisper of hope is given to me as i place my palms on the walls of the tunnels and try to guide my way through in the dark, i accept it with reservations. I forget that He lives within me and I am light itself! I forget that He's walking with me in the dark, His angels by my side so i don't strike my foot against a stone, i forget it all.. For how long will He tarry with my faithlessness? How long will i continue to light the fire when the going is good, and put it out when the going gets tough?

The frailty of man must be exasperating....yes but to only man, not to the Big G who has more stamina and patience to tolerate our weaknesses and myopic eyesight. He desperately desires to see children whose faith is as tiny as a mustard seed, He has promised He can work with that. He can multiply that seed to form a pyramid as high as mountain which you and i can climb and command to move. Yet...He worries that when He returns, will He find faith on the earth? Difficult as it may be, we can have faith like Abraham who almost slew his son Isaac in obedience to the giver of life; we can have faith like Caleb and Joshua who saw giants in a beautiful land and came back to report that the land could be conquered (Numbers 14); we can have faith like Elijah who knew God would not abandon Him when contending with the prophets of baal on whose God is real (1Kings 18) or like David, though a boy, challenged and defeated the giant Goliath  (1 Samuel 17)... Just some of the examples of magnanimous faith written as a guide for those that believe to exemplify.

So while i ponder and work towards ALWAYS seeing the glass as half full and never half empty, i urge you to hold onto faith that someday it'll all be as right as rain! Hold onto the promise that His promises are "yes and amen", which means yes and it will be done!


DON'T be a victim of fair-weather FAITH! BE a victim of fair and foul-weather FAITH rooted in the word, that you may be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that extends its roots and whose leafs does not wither but always yields fruit and prospers! (PSALM 1:3) 




Tuyo por siempre (yours eternally) my faithful readers,
Chinny