Delayed Post

I was supposed to put this post up almost three months ago but for some unknown reason I didn't and its been sitting in my email! Anyway here it is now as I attempt to resurrect my blogging skills. 

While sitting in my office, I find myself multitasking with my hands, mind and ears. Its Christmas time and I’m listening to a Christmas CD by Josh Groban on youtube, busy printing tons of technical drawings and lost in thought about different things.. The office is relatively empty this period with most people saving their miserly 10 to 14 vacation days for this time of the year which by the way is my favorite time of the year. I can’t help but feel mixed up with different emotions ranging from happy, content, sad, lonely, bored but thankful! Yep, that’s often my state of mind these days!

Maybe I’m just miserable about the fact that its Christmas and sadly I don’t get more than 2 days off because I just started a new job less than two months ago and technically I’m not yet entitled to any personal or vacation days, but  y company in the spirit of Christmas decided to let me have two days. Don’t get me wrong I am more than thankful for this but at the same time it reminds me of one of the reasons I miss home, Nigeria, where I always had at least 10 days off from work for Christmas and I always had something fun planned out for the season with a trip to my peaceful eastern Nigerian village or a trip to cold and wet London where my twin sister would be waiting for me. Oh well, guess life can’t always turn out the way we want it to. On a brighter note though, it’s the first Christmas I’m spending with the love of my life, my angelic husband whom just became my husband about 6months ago. So if I have anything to be happy about with my life in cold, snowy,  boring and traffic filled New Jersey, it’s that the most important person in my life lives with me and will be there to give me a loving hug and kiss when I’m feeling down.

Speaking of new jersey, I have to say that the US of A is one highly overrated and exaggerated place. I came here six months ago and I often find myself missing London where I got to live in for just a year. I don’t know what it is about here that hasn't quite appealed to me. Don’t get me wrong, there are beautiful places and nice things to do but something is missing… Maybe it’s the fact that I don’t have my family here, save for a brother who is in faraway Texas, and so very few friends whom I only get to speak to on the phone or chat with every other week; whatever it is I don’t know how long I’ll have the desire to live here. I always tell my husband we’ll move someday, maybe not back to Nigeria (story for another day) but to another country in North America or Europe which strangely I have come to like. 

I also have to say that the first time I came into the US of A I wondered why my people are so desperate to travel here and make a life here?! Nothing is quite ever as it seems… America from a distance and in TV sounds and seems like the best place to live on earth but I tell you the honest to God truth, IT IS NOT! I won’t even bother going into the gun violence occurring in this country on a daily basis or the intense sexual immorality among seemingly normal people or teenage suicide borne out of bullying or young kids committing atrocious crimes. This is a country without a soul and a proliferation of immoral acts too heinous to fathom. So I’ll save these topics for another day for you see these are some of the things that make this place unattractive and yes I know every country/society has issues but trust me a lot of people in this place are sick!

Anyway I won’t rant any longer and I desperately need to get back to work as my to do list is getting very long contrary to my hopes considering my boss will be out of town till the new year. 

This blog entry is to intended to debut the start of my life in the US, so watch out for more posts on what living in the US is truly like (assuming I get around to having the time to blog).

Merry Christmas everyone, go out and make someone smile today! Remember the reason for the season and always give thanks!

Till next time, hasta la vista!

Pastors and Scandals; a tale of adultery!

I haven't blogged in over three months and its not out of a lack of what to say but rather where to start from! So much has happened in my life in the last four months (ALL positive) that it has been excitingly overwhelming and I haven't had the time to publish some of my thoughts on it. Well I can't say all of what has happened but I'll just summarize and say some; I got married, moved continents, started a new life as a married woman and have been trying to settle into my new home and its been an absolutely an amazing and blessed journey. Super grateful to the almighty for a wonderful husband and friend who gives me a reason to smile everyday! Love you Mio..

Now onto other things outside of me, the blogosphere world has been abuzz with the story of the sex scandal between Ese Walter and some Pastor Bidoun Fatoyinbo of a church called COZA in Abuja Nigeria (click the title “My Affair With Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA").
When I read her story I was flipping mad!! First of all several things stuck out to me from this story the first of which is the kind of reverence Nigerian congregants tend to have for their pastors. And let me seize this opportunity to remind us that not everyone who calls the name of God is of God and this is why we must test the spirit to see if it is genuine. Acts 17:11 the Berean Jews were said to be of more noble character because they didn't just take the word of God hook, line and sinker when heard from men, they took the time to search scriptures and if as a Christian you are not doing that today then you are on your own! Back to the issue, these pastors are human beings like you and me and guess what??! They are NOT infallible! In fact I believe men of God are more prone to committing atrocities because their level of temptation, I dare to say, is most likely higher than yours or mine as a result of their spirituality. The saying goes that he that is down need fear no fall but what of he that is up? He definitely needs to fear to fall because when you are high up there are many forces, physical and spiritual, trying to bring you down and if you have no protection you will fall hard. Transfer this theory spiritually and I'm sure you can paint the picture for yourself. These pastors are men first before they are servants of God and this means that they have two sources feeding into them; one is from the world and all its garbage and the other is from the heavens with all its weapons to quench the darts of the world. Now we all know no one is perfect and hence we all feed off these two sources including pastors and therefore this means they get to experience temptation in all forms, shapes or sizes as the case appears with this story. The big question though is how do they resist it and when does their conscience stop them from doing wrong and acknowledging their sins saying "I have a problem and I shouldn't be in front of this pulpit because I have failed God and I have failed you (the church)"? Um, NEVER! Why? Let me ask you when last you came out in the open to confess an atrocity you committed? Thinking? I can guess the answer is Never! So you see why Pastor Biodun had to wait to be caught and not to confess! We all have secrets and we all go on our knees and try to resolve it personally with God and sometimes if we are daring enough we let someone or two in on our problems and hope we can find a solution. And sometimes we do find a solution and with the grace of God abounding can move on and not repeat the atrocity while sometimes we fall again! Many fall along the way and rise; while many rise along the way and fall again! Its in the human nature. Don't get me wrong I am livid with the abuse of power by this so called pastor because he has used his position to hide his shame but at the same time I am not blind to the fact that he has issues and needs help! So I will not pass judgment on him but I can say this he better confess and repent or face the wrath of God and that is a fact!

Second thing that stuck out to me is this Ese girl, I mean how stupid can one get that you don't know when to draw boundaries when its so obvious that something morally and atrociously wrong is about to happen and you are a part of it?! Its people like this that throw the term 'commonsense' out the window! Or should we assume she under some negative spiritual influence that led her to the arms of an adulterer and a so called man of God (very questionable) for that matter! In fact I'm bewildered to put it mildly. I wish I had more to say about this girl but fortunately I am in no position to pass judgment and so I rest my case. However I commend her public confession because it can't have been easy doing it even though I don't know whether or not she may have confessed publicly if she hadn't gone around telling several people who were already spreading the story. By telling her story she has exposed a harsh reality going on in the church and hopefully other women who have gone through similar experiences can find a way to forgive themselves and their cohorts in this heinous acts and move on.

Its just a pity and sad that so many so called Christians are practicing religiosity and carnality, not Christianity. I bet God is shaking his head and wondering what more He can tell us that is not already in His word. All I can say is fix your gaze upon what is right, honest, just, righteous, lovely and clean and invite the spirit to give you the strength and grace to quench all the fiery darts of the enemy and you will surely defeat the devil by the word of the Lamb and the word of your testimony!

Peace and Love to you!
Coco C

Ability+Capacity= Territory

A child still learning to crawl is limited in movement and in area or territory covered until he learns to walk. Consistently and perhaps painstakingly he pushes on in his quest to conquer new distances and to pick up the colorful toy ahead of him, all the time doing so while crawling on his tiny belly. One day though he realizes its time to take things to the next level and so he jolts himself to his feet and takes a few courageous step forward, while holding the armrest of the chair so his feeble legs do not give way under his weight. He does this for a few more days or weeks or maybe even a month, all the time being encouraged and cheered on lovingly by mum and dad, sometimes falling on his heavily padded butt. Then suddenly, the day arrives when his training is over and he is equipped to move to new grounds. Putting one foot in front of the other he begins to walk from the living room, down the hallway until he gets to mum and dad's room and to their surprise he smiles knowingly because his capacity had been expanded and hence he gained new territory! This is mine and your story in the desire for territory. 

The Lord promised the Israelite's that He would take them to new grounds but He knew they did not have the ability and capacity to take the territory He wanted for them. So He told them in verse 29 and 30 that it would take time but the time was dependent on their increase in ability and capacity. Increase in ability and capacity is up to us under the guidance of God's word which has been given to us as a lamp unto our feet and a light to our path. 

Ability plus capacity is vital to taking new territory because with new levels come new devils! No one is promoted to MD or CEO without a story of a journey of patience, persistence, hard work and diligence. Often times we pray and make incessant requests of God and while his desire is to grant us all we ask of,though permissible, He knows better than we do that it is not all beneficial. 

So ask Him wisely and in accordance to His will,then build yourself up as best as you can with the tools necessary to take the territory you desire, and finally trust Him to do it at the appointed time for everything under the sun has a time and a season. 

Lord, teach me to be patient in my desire to take new territory and while doing so, give me the grace and strength to build myself up in line with your word so that when you are ready to give me new territory I may not be found lacking in Jesus name. Amen. 

Speaking of territories, I recently took territory and got married to the one whom God destined to be my husband!! ;)..hehehe

Coco C a.k.a Mrs E! ;) 

Demystifying 'emotional' women

Women are complex creatures. I'm one so I know better! We get moody when we have no reason to, cry when we shouldn't, worry over things that always have solutions, etc etc etc..the list is loooong! On Saturday a bunch of kids came over to my sisters house and they were lil girls. Her hubby couldn't help but notice that the lil girls weren't playing with each other and he said so stating that guys behaved differently. In hindsight this is true as it happens in adulthood. Two women sit beside each other at a mutual friend's party and none says hi to the other because they are both wondering who will say hi first or if the other person is a social snob! I've done it before so I know this is a common occurrence and I wonder why?! Ladies any input on this one?

Anyway my main focus for this blog entry is to talk about what a lot of women want in a relationship! Yes, thousand+xxxx  'relationship experts' are my predecessors in this field and yes they have most times written accurate stuff but men can never hear enough of what women really want because truth is half the time they aren't paying attention!! So, just like she always does when she asks you five times or more to please remember to buy xxxxxx on your way home, I'm gonna add myself to the thousand+xxx1 people who have reiterated many times what women want and in doing so I'm going to use myself as case study! Don't judge me o, here goes: (P.S: Disclaimer: Please note that the following does not apply to every woman as some women are logical and not emotional creatures and hence the title of my post)

1. Communication- I'm a big communicator in the sense that I like to 'talk' about issues when they happen because that is my way of releasing inner anger. To deny emotional women the privilege of communicating is to slowly turn up the dial of an incinerator! One day the dial will go beyond the scale and when it does the door will explode and all hell will break loose and hell with have no fury like a woman scorned or rather shunned! Men talk to us, its part of our motivating fuel to be better girlfriends/wives to you.

2. Attention- I'm clearing my throat on this one because its an Achilles heel for me. I don't know if its because I'm a Leo and we live for attention or if its just my genetic wiring, but a few hours of not giving me attention can send me to moody land for a day!! Now don't get me wrong, we're not asking to be followed around or to be called every hour but just 'feeling' like we're your numero uno thought is all it takes! How do you achieve it? Its up to you guys, what does your woman like? Does she want to hear your voice every hour (whether she or you calls) or does she want to see a text from you? Or does she want you to be involved in the design of the wedding cake for your wedding too? Whatever it is SHE WANTS and you can easily provide, knowing it will make her happy, then please by all means try to do it. Some argue that should he do what she wants even when its not genuinely from his heart and he's only acting out because it'll make her happy? My answer? Yes. Would it make you happy if she isn't a football fan but she sits down to watch it with you anyway because you like to talk while watching it and at least she can keep you company? If yes, then there goes your answer! If no, then this my blog post can't help you... waka go the next one, maybe they'll have answers for you! There is a thin line between genuineness and pretense and finding a way to balance the two in the interest of all parties concerned is all it'll take for moments of peace if not be prepared for lady moody to make an appearance.

3. Femininity- We want to see your feminine side dude! One of the biggest turn-on's for ALL women (emotionally or logically inclined) is a man who can cook and clean! They are like diamonds, rare to find; gold,  hard if not impossible to tarnish; cake, sweet to eat; chocolate, perfect aphrodisiacs! You see the thing is we know its part of our responsibility to 'look after the man and the home' but to see a man who doesn't conform to the world's rules but who makes his and lives by them is epic!! Men, it wouldn't hurt to have dinner ready for two of you every now and then or to help out around the house, after-all she helps with the bills so why can't you help with the chores? You didn't marry your mother, a nanny or a housemaid. You married a wife, a partner, helper and teammate! Treat her as such and she'll literally lick the ground you walk on if you ask her to.

There are so many more issues I could address but this for me are the three which stand out the most especially coming from a masculine culture where women are defined by their social responsibilities!

So, dats all! Share your thoughts if you wish...

Ciao..

Coco-C