Demystifying 'emotional' women

Women are complex creatures. I'm one so I know better! We get moody when we have no reason to, cry when we shouldn't, worry over things that always have solutions, etc etc etc..the list is loooong! On Saturday a bunch of kids came over to my sisters house and they were lil girls. Her hubby couldn't help but notice that the lil girls weren't playing with each other and he said so stating that guys behaved differently. In hindsight this is true as it happens in adulthood. Two women sit beside each other at a mutual friend's party and none says hi to the other because they are both wondering who will say hi first or if the other person is a social snob! I've done it before so I know this is a common occurrence and I wonder why?! Ladies any input on this one?

Anyway my main focus for this blog entry is to talk about what a lot of women want in a relationship! Yes, thousand+xxxx  'relationship experts' are my predecessors in this field and yes they have most times written accurate stuff but men can never hear enough of what women really want because truth is half the time they aren't paying attention!! So, just like she always does when she asks you five times or more to please remember to buy xxxxxx on your way home, I'm gonna add myself to the thousand+xxx1 people who have reiterated many times what women want and in doing so I'm going to use myself as case study! Don't judge me o, here goes: (P.S: Disclaimer: Please note that the following does not apply to every woman as some women are logical and not emotional creatures and hence the title of my post)

1. Communication- I'm a big communicator in the sense that I like to 'talk' about issues when they happen because that is my way of releasing inner anger. To deny emotional women the privilege of communicating is to slowly turn up the dial of an incinerator! One day the dial will go beyond the scale and when it does the door will explode and all hell will break loose and hell with have no fury like a woman scorned or rather shunned! Men talk to us, its part of our motivating fuel to be better girlfriends/wives to you.

2. Attention- I'm clearing my throat on this one because its an Achilles heel for me. I don't know if its because I'm a Leo and we live for attention or if its just my genetic wiring, but a few hours of not giving me attention can send me to moody land for a day!! Now don't get me wrong, we're not asking to be followed around or to be called every hour but just 'feeling' like we're your numero uno thought is all it takes! How do you achieve it? Its up to you guys, what does your woman like? Does she want to hear your voice every hour (whether she or you calls) or does she want to see a text from you? Or does she want you to be involved in the design of the wedding cake for your wedding too? Whatever it is SHE WANTS and you can easily provide, knowing it will make her happy, then please by all means try to do it. Some argue that should he do what she wants even when its not genuinely from his heart and he's only acting out because it'll make her happy? My answer? Yes. Would it make you happy if she isn't a football fan but she sits down to watch it with you anyway because you like to talk while watching it and at least she can keep you company? If yes, then there goes your answer! If no, then this my blog post can't help you... waka go the next one, maybe they'll have answers for you! There is a thin line between genuineness and pretense and finding a way to balance the two in the interest of all parties concerned is all it'll take for moments of peace if not be prepared for lady moody to make an appearance.

3. Femininity- We want to see your feminine side dude! One of the biggest turn-on's for ALL women (emotionally or logically inclined) is a man who can cook and clean! They are like diamonds, rare to find; gold,  hard if not impossible to tarnish; cake, sweet to eat; chocolate, perfect aphrodisiacs! You see the thing is we know its part of our responsibility to 'look after the man and the home' but to see a man who doesn't conform to the world's rules but who makes his and lives by them is epic!! Men, it wouldn't hurt to have dinner ready for two of you every now and then or to help out around the house, after-all she helps with the bills so why can't you help with the chores? You didn't marry your mother, a nanny or a housemaid. You married a wife, a partner, helper and teammate! Treat her as such and she'll literally lick the ground you walk on if you ask her to.

There are so many more issues I could address but this for me are the three which stand out the most especially coming from a masculine culture where women are defined by their social responsibilities!

So, dats all! Share your thoughts if you wish...

Ciao..

Coco-C

2013 random happenings

The first quarter of this year is almost gone and I'm sure everyone would agree that a lot has happened. From deaths to weddings to comical viral sensations (my oga at the top) to the usual political brouhaha and drama, it has been one heck of a year. Personally I have felt a little overwhelmed with things happening this year and have spent many moments processing it mentally and spiritually. We all entered the new year hoping for better things to come this year and thankfully for some people that has happened while for others the reverse has been the case.

Starting with death, it came 'close to home' this year with the loss of a cousin, a family friend, a sister-in-law and an acquaintance from secondary school. Four deaths in two months, most of which were within two to three weeks apart, that the "RIP" status on my social media page became the order of the day and at some point was emotionally exhausting. What can I say if not that the feebleness of life is a reminder that we really are chasing the wind and that everything outside of God and a purpose driven life is vanity. Just like you and me, these four people made plans as each day passed by. They planned for the present and the future and imagined they would watch their kids get married and someday they would grow old. Somewhere in the recesses of their mind death was an option someday but not anytime soon as they couldn't imagine dying young and unfulfilled but sadly death doesn't respect plans and so before they had time to catch their breath, the inevitable quiet end came knocking on their doorpost. How sad.. May all the souls of the faithful departed be with God.

Onto weddings ;).. I've attended ONLY one wedding this year (for a Nigerian that is a poor statistics in 3 months, we too marry) and might I add that just like a typical Nigerian would do, I went uninvited! Which brings me to the subject of the 'collectivist' nature of our society, is it a good or bad thing to be this communal that we can freely walk into a strangers special moment and partake without contributing anything? My masters dissertation was about culture and one key subject raised was 'collectivism' which is basically the level of social interactions in the society. While it has many advantages as you can rely on your friends or neighbors and sometimes total strangers to be there for you in times of need, are the disadvantages more when it comes to thinks like planning a wedding? Ideally you want 300 people at your wedding but knowing the culture you are from you end up planning for 600 people, irrespective of your financial capabilities, because it is expected that "extra mouths" will be there (without gifts if I might add!!) and they should be fed. Oh well I guess we can't blame people who now do weddings strictly by invitation to avoid stories that touch! And on a final note for this wedding subject, mine is coming up soon and just like I crashed someones wedding, I expect mine to be crashed too so feel free to bring yourself to eastern Nigeria (if you can find a commercial airline in naija to fly these days)! lol..

Comical viral sensations, my oga at the top!!! Now this is one man who made an entire nation, home and abroad, laugh their heads off for over a week! Talk about national comic/embarrassment.. I won't write too much about this because the story has been exhausted in all forms with music videos, tees, mugs, etc.... People couldn't get enough of the joke of an interview captured on national television by Channels TV station, discussing the Nigerian Security and Civil Defense Corps (NSCDC). When I first saw the video I was mortified and embarrassed at the man's supposed 'ignorance' that I didn't notice the epic line 'my oga at the top', until the slogan broke out! Well all I can say is "well done Mr Shem for publicizing your organization in the most comical way ever,....dats all!!"..lol..

On the political front, GEJ should please revoke his presidential pardon of Alams so we can hear word and so we can believe once more that the battle to fight corruption has hope! How did we get to this point where we are defined and judged globally by how corrupt we are??! Lord help!

Three eventful months gone and nine more to go. Personally I want weddings and more comical sensations to happen but no more deaths please, enough for a season already.

Just my morning musings and now its time to carve out my JD at my new job where I have no structured JD!!!(another fundamental gbese with Nigerian companies, smh).

Ciao!

Coco-C