Desire, dream deferred....

There's a movie called "A StreetCar named Desire".. Weird name for a movie. I can't remember the storyline though. I asked myself what to write about and then i thought "desire".. a strong and passion filled emotion. Desire can leave you lost in an imaginary world. A world where all you want exists at the tip of your fingers. Conjuring images of a life you'd rather have, you experience the highest form of ecstasy. Sensibility and rationalism thrown out the window, passion and lust thrown in.. Its inexplicable. A world where life is perfect, love is divine, stress is gone, and perfection is complete. Daydreams are synonymous with desire, a wish, want, longing... But desire exists in reality and imaginations. The desire for a perfect life in reality is almost fruitless but the desire for a perfect life in imaginations is fruitful, setting you free with reckless abandon to a state of complete pleasure. I've been caught with closed eyes and a smile on my face.. With eyes wide shut to reality and eyes narrowly open to imaginations and desire, i paint pictures in my head of a perfect world. Desire in daydreams replacing reality, we become lost and oblivious of the imperfections around.
 Where and when can desire in an imaginary world translate to fact in a real world? At the point of the horizon. The point of decisions created by a higher being. The end of preparation for the reality of your desires, the completion of the journey of dreams. The horizon, the beginning of a new life,seen from a distance, appreciated in beauty from afar, existing in perfection in desire and complete in reality when the desire teleports from that imaginary world. Its complex.

Desire is a dream deferred.

Football Football Football!!!

I am almost clueless about football! Save for when Nigeria is playing, i wont be caught dead or alive watching any of them league matches.. La liga, Bundesliga, English Premiership, Japanese Premiership, liga liga whatever etc.. Don't get me wrong, i don't hate football but i can't be bothered.
At least i even know some of the club names and the players too! So i ain't so bad. I've heard some people ask 'what is barca'? And believe me they were guys that asked! Funny right?! So I'm wondering why some guys can literally have high blood pressure cause of football while other's don't give two knives about it?! In fact its quite ludicrous to see the level of addiction associated with football considering what the game is about, full grown men kicking a small ball around a field for an hour and a half, and on bad days two hours plus! Some say its about technique, strategy, and team work. While this is true, i don't think i need football to teach me that. Though i have to admit that in my next life, should i be a guy I'd most likely want to be a footballer! And if i were to be a woman, I'd want to belong to the FWA (footballers wives association) ;)...yeah yeah, judge me not! Lol

Anyway i don't even know why I'm talking about football today.. I suppose its some recessive memory creeping up to voice my past thoughts on it... The number of updates that goes up on Facebook when any game is up is alarming.I'm more surprised also by the number of women who actually follow these games and are sometimes even more passionate than the guys! At least guys look on the bright side, you can be sure she won't be blocking your TV screen or turning it off as she'll be most likely seated by your side, making a hullabaloo out of excitement or anxiety!
My mum is a fan of MAN-U and my dad and brother are fans of ARSENAL, DA gunners (eyes rolling). Did i mention i don't like Arsenal?? (no offence to gunners :-P) Gosh what is it about that club? Heck its not like they even have an unbroken winning streak or some alarming success rate! Last year Arsenal was almost a write off, yet "DA gunners" swore allegiance for life! I always make sure to rub it into my dad and bros face when arsenal loses, maybe they can follow my mum to Manchester United! lol.. Now I'm dating a guy who also happens to be an arsenal fan (gimme a break! ;)).. Anyway so while i'm not a football fan, i used to claim to be a fan of "Chelsea" :D (only because i liked Drogba)..at least i dey talk true o! And then whenever Chelsea is playing my mum and dad would call me to watch them (of course i mentioned to them i was a fake fan)! I'm not even gonna ask why America calls what is clearly a hand game "football"??

An hour and a half watching guys who earn your three years salary in a week! (SMH)..na wa..

Just me Chinny
:D

Matilda, my 'frenemy'

I borrowed the word "frenemy" from a follower's blog, "Pretty Lashes" (thank you for coining the word or for bringing it to good use ;). So who is Matilda?

She's that lady always dressed in red but not looking so lovely..
She's your friend whom you are grateful to see ever so often but not happy to host..
She's a god-given friend to be cherished for almost three-quarters of your life..
She's that enemy that can give you a terrible day at work, school or wherever you are..
She usually announces her arrival (in a depressing way sometimes) almost two weeks before she shows up..
Showing up whenever she pleases, her timing can be a nuisance!
Comes in a flash and takes her time to leave not caring how convenient or not it is for her to be around you..
She has the uncanny ability to sap all the god-giving energy in you just like that, you wanna be in bed for a week! (you can call her your monthly Achilles heel)
She can also be dangerous too...she's been known to hospitalize many..
She can be expensive too! I did the math :), try it out...(OK so maybe not too expensive)
She can be a downright pain in the belly!
Yet, despite her burdensome nature, her absence sends panic alarms...
For you see she is a preferably unwanted but necessary friend...

Who is 'matilda'?? She's MY "FRENEMY"..

Say no more... I'll be here for you for as long as you desire O my dearest "frenemy" Mati!

Lol! hehehe....

Time Changes Yesterday...

What does that statement mean? As I sat with my friend at Muri Okunola park in Victoria Island yesterday, enjoying the bliss of a national public holiday, and we talked on life’s bogging issues, how kids are so unruly and immodest, how everyone tries to sound politically correct and no one wants to appear judgmental, etc, I made a comment “Time Changes Yesterday”. I tend to say this a lot. I recall reading the novel called Time Changes Yesterday in JS3 (junior secondary 3) but i can’t recall what the story line was about, save for it being a tale of love. Then I asked myself out loud, what does it mean to say time changes yesterday? How can yesterday, the past, be changed? How can occurrences of the past be altered? Or does it refer to the present, or the future? Time changes yesterday…………..

Then it hit me. What is time? Time is continuous. Time is evolving. Time is yesterday, today and tomorrow. I’ll tell us some definitions from the dictionary. According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary time is:

                                                                         

1 a : the measured or measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exists or continues : duration b : a non spatial continuum that is measured in terms of events which succeed one another from past through present to future

2: the point or period when something occurs: occasion

3 a : an appointed, fixed, or customary moment or hour for something to happen, begin, or end <arrived ahead of time>b : an opportune or suitable moment. (These are just some of the definitions of time)

Time is synonymous with actions, occurrences, events etc. There’s a symbiotic relationship between time and events, they can be said to be mutually inclusive or dependent events, the occurrence of one depending on the other. So when it is said that time changes yesterday, it simply means that the evolving of events over time have changed the outcome of today. Simply put, what used to be, no longer is. Examples: virginity is not as common as it used to be, fashion is not as conservative as it used to be, women are no longer required to keep their mouths shut and not have an equal say, women are no longer relegated to a designation as housewives, children are no longer as respectful as they used to be, propriety in dressing to church is no longer what it used to be, TV is no longer as censored as it used to be, movies are no longer as educating as they used to be, schools are no longer safe havens for children, when away from home, as they used to be, even leaving the kids at home in the care of the nannies is no longer safe, couples no longer need to be of the opposite sex, technology is no longer dated etc.. The list is endless… Notice how the examples cited here have a negative connotation? Well that’s because that’s predominantly the type of change that has occurred over time. The world and its inhabitants have bent to suit their own desires and meet their own needs. It’s no longer about what is right and acceptable its now about what is self-gratifying. How do we deal with time changing yesterday? Going with the trend or standing for what is right? Answer for yourselves… I know my own answer.

Time indeed has changed yesterday. Time has changed what today should have been. Maybe in the future we’ll no longer say time changes yesterday but rather time is now. That’s what counts at the end of the day.

PS: A prize goes to anyone who can tell me the author of “Time Changes Yesterday” and where to buy the book in Lagos! 

Till i write again...

Chinny :)

A HORSE, God's Favorite Animal?

I admire horses but I’m somewhat terrified of them. Maybe it’s because they are taller than me or because I feel they have semi-loose nuts in their head that can unscrew at anytime and have them charging away with a resolve of vengeance, I don’t know. Ive ridden on one before (of course not alone) and I remember being scared to get on but being the adventurous and daring person I am, I refused to concede to fear. I couldn't wait to get off as I was uncomfortable. Just seeing a horse stand beside me or having to pass beside one freaks me out internally. Anyway tall or wild as they may be, i cannot deny the splendor of a horse. Their size, strength and beauty fascinates me.

Why am I talking about a horse today? Well because I always wanted to write about horses ever since I stumbled upon the scripture (Job 39:19-25) that describes the magnificence of a horse. For some strange reason that scripture captured me, I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was the painting the words drew in my mind, I realized that day that there is no greater poet that ever existed than God. If He could take time to describe this animal, then there must be something we failed to acknowledge. I believe I started to write but stopped out of a lack for words or procrastination… I later watched an epic movie where at the start of the movie a herd of horses in flight ridden by epic warriors and racing across the desert sent my mind’s eye to a third world…  It was a beautiful sight... The thundering of many horses rushing into battle accelerating adrenaline, the sound of a horses grunt instilling fear, the sway of the horses mane carried by the wind like the sands of the desert sweeping across the Sahara, the reflection of the sun on it's velvety skin gleaming like fields of gold,  the eyes of a horse that sees only the path upon which it treads, blocking out fear and seeing its rider’s mission ahead…all this enthralled me and yet I didn’t write. But the end of my procrastinating ways was when I watched the movie ‘Secretariat’. I have never seen a movie before that can use an animal to teach us humans what determination and strength is all about. If you haven’t seen this movie, I strongly recommend it and mind you it’s based on a true life story. Before the movie was over I was painting the words with my mind’s eye. I finally knew in my spirit it was time to write about this great animal.

Are you with me? If you’re not, read the below and paint the picture for yourself….

Job 39: 19-25

19 “Have you given the horse its strength

      or clothed its neck with a flowing mane?

 20 Did you give it the ability to leap like a locust?

      Its majestic snorting is terrifying!

 21 It paws the earth and rejoices in its strength

      when it charges out to battle.

 22 It laughs at fear and is unafraid.

      It does not run from the sword.

 23 The arrows rattle against it,

      and the spear and javelin flash.

 24 It paws the ground fiercely

      and rushes forward into battle when the ram’s horn blows.

 25 It snorts at the sound of the horn.

      It senses the battle in the distance.

      It quivers at the captain’s commands and the noise of battle.

Horses in fields of gold...J

 Do you know a better poet than this? I don’t…. These are some of the regal things about a horse that beguiles me…

Why would God question Job about a horse? Why not humans, why not angels? Why a horse?

You see God threw a bunch of questions to Job in answers to his interrogation at the peak of his tribulations. Answering Him from the whirlwind, God’s opening line was “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words”? God asked Job to tell him who made the horse. He asked about the horse because a horse is grand. People have asked if a horse is God’s favorite animal, I’m tempted to say yes! They may not be His favorite but he most certainly likes them, how else can we explain why the bible mentions horses over 50 times?! No other animal was graced with such presence in the good book. So tell me if my enchantment of horses is obscure after all this? Heck no! I now looove horses J...and i love fields of gold! 

In another life I would not only own horses, I would be a jockey or a female epic warrior like Xena or Joan of Arc, kicking ass and loving it! So I hope next time you see a horse you think of spititout and you think of me with a smile on your face!

Hehehehe……

Till I write again,

Chinny :)

Love, ACTION or EMOTION? or BOTH?

I’m under a lot of pressure, at work and on the home front (he says and then laughs)

“My wife thinks i don’t love her anymore because I don’t say it”…

“Since you know what she wants, why don’t you tell her?” (I say to him)

“How about what I want? Why is it always about what women want?”

“It isn’t always about what women want”. The responsibility for a woman to her husband is for her to submit to him in everything (Eph 5:24). What does submit mean? The giving of one’s self to another. Not submit in terms of saying ‘woman, sit on the floor’ and you expect her to sit. Or woman ‘come and clean my feet’ and she comes running. That’s not the type of submit the bible is preaching.

The responsibility for a man to his wife, is for him to love her as Christ loved the church” (Eph 5:25). Christ loved the church (us) by literally dying on the cross for us. This was action not words. He said it and then he showed it.

 “So she’s not supposed to love me too”?

“She is”.

“A woman won’t submit to a man she doesn’t have love and respect for, so her submit here translates to love”. 

“She doesn’t think I love her and yet I’m sweating to ensure she lives a comfortable life with the kids in the UK, buy her what she wants, expensive schools for the kids et al”.

“That’s not what she wants”. It’s not about those things.

“Oh then what else??”..

As a matter of fact, those things are your responsibility as the man of the house. That’s not showing her you love her. She wants to feel you love her from your words and actions. Love is more of an action than emotions…

The next statements were extracted from a letter written to me by someone special. He sought to respond to one of my reader’s comment that ‘sometimes love is not enough’.

Finally it hit me..."Love is an action, not an emotion". The poets lied to us all, they never understood it too. They had always described love in terms of emotions, tingling sensations, butterflies fluttering on your insides...emotions...things we could feel. If love was an emotion, then it would be possible to fake, cos it isn’t hard to express what you don't feel. If love was an emotion, then it could be simulated. If love was an emotion, then it could be unconscious. But love isn’t. Love is a choice. You choose to love or you choose not to. "You can't give what you don't have".  I could go on and on, but let me explain how it transformed my understanding of 1st Corinth 13..

"God is Love"

Love is patient...God is patient with us, sometimes I really don't understand why.

Love is kind....God is too kind to us.

Love is not jealous...God is a jealous God? I wonder, cos if He was, He wouldn’t put up with our worshipping Facebook and our jobs more than we worship Him

Love does not demand its own way...God has given us the freedom to choose what we want.

Love is not irritable...God puts up with all our crap and excuses.

Love does not keep a record of wrongs...God doesn’t stockpile our sins as evidence against us. He forgives us all of our sins.

Love does not give up... God never gives up on us, even when we choose to walk the wrong path

Love never loses faith...God never gives up faith in us. He believes in us. Look at Job!

Love is always hopeful...God is the father of the prodigal son.

Love endures through every circumstance...Despite the trials and temptations we go thru, God is always with us

All the definitions of love mentioned in 1st Corinth 13 are actions, not emotions. Emotions are basically sensory perceptions experienced/felt by someone and could be triggered by anything. Actions are carried out by someone and felt by another person. So if love is an action, you can't give what you don't have. I am going to stop here; I don't want to sound philosophical.

''Sometimes love isn’t enough..." My response?

I will be patient and be willing to learn from you

I will be kind and always seek the best for u

I will not be jealous, rather I'll rejoice in your success and appreciate your beauty when others gush about it

I will not be selfish, rather I will learn to compromise and make sacrifices

I will accept your mood swings and learn how to make u smile when your mood is dark

I will not keep a database of any arguments we may have, neither will I use them as weapons of aggravation

I will not give up on us

I will not lose faith in us

I will always stick by your side, despite the adversity and difficulties that may come up.

Men are more motivated by sight. Women are more motivated by words and the little seemingly insignificant acts of love. In the words of Luther Vandross, ‘buy me a rose, call me from work, open the door for me, show me you love me by the look in your eyes….these are the little things that mean the most in my life”.

So guys, though the gifts matter, it’s not about the Louis Vuitton bag, Swarovski earrings, expensive school for the kids, holiday trips anywhere in the world etc. It’s about YOU. It’s about you being there as a shoulder to lean on, it’s about you touching her in a way she knows you truly love her and then words won’t mean as much, its showing the love in spoken and unspoken words and so many other seemingly minute things your wife expects support for. You may not be physically present but just showing her that you are verbally present and letting her be a part of the decisions you make in the things that matter the most in living your lives is part of what will show your wife how much you care.

Women, cut him some slack. He doesn’t love you any less just because he doesn’t tell you. He may just be too pre-occupied with ensuring that the daily bread is taken care of, he may forget to say it. Pardon his shortcomings in expressing his love, most men are not emotional creatures. When he does forget, instead of bitching him about not saying it, say it to him and he’ll most likely remember then. Tell him you love him and prove it to him by submitting. Don’t give up, just do your part and pray.


Just me again,
Chinny! :)

The Butterfly Effect

I was speaking with a friend about my blog and she told me how she once wrote a poem about a “mad man”... She said it was the first poem she ever wrote. I thought it was weird but I was curious to hear the details. She couldn't recall what she had written as it has been so many years past but she said she remembers the last line of her poem… it goes as follows…“Illusions are the realities of a mad person”. I thought this was a powerful statement. I thought about this further and decided to ask myself “what are the realities of a sane person”?  Is it everyday living, hopes or dreams? I wonder… That statement also made my mind wander to the movie I watched earlier that day, “The Butterfly Effect”. In this movie Ashton Kutcher was a kid who went through most of his childhood and teenage years blocking out harmful memories of significant events of his life. As he got older he somehow developed the ability to remember these past events and to supernaturally manipulate the past to suit his present realities as he realized that he did not like what he saw in the past and what was happening in the present. He opened a can of worms by doing this and it greatly influenced his life and that of his family and friends.  The moral of this movie was to show that the decisions we make today will affect the certainties of tomorrow.

Have you ever heard the saying that ‘the flutter of a butterfly's wings in one part of the world can cause a typhoon in another”? Prior to watching this movie I took the interpretation of that metaphor literally. According to Wikipedia, the phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that may ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay, accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in a certain location. The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale alterations of events. To simplify, it is the idea that a small change at one place in a system can have large effects somewhere else.

This is true. The seemingly insignificant or minute decisions we make can be the catalyst that simplifies or complicates our lives. Sometimes we rush to make decisions that at the time seem convenient and suitable but in the end have a negative rippling effect on us or on others. It can be as simple as getting into a squabble at work or responding to a remark or email when angry, whatever it is wisdom should precede every other attribute when making decisions in our everyday living.

With that said maybe we can conclude that "every day events are the realities of a sane person". So let’s be careful to ensure we don’t flap wings today that will cause a tornado tomorrow.  

Have a great week everyone!

Tuyo por siempre,

Chinny J

Why i started blogging

I started blogging for lack of nothing better to do with my time. 

You see once upon a time I was juggling three roles in my office, swamped with work and asked to endure till things changed. We were just four on my team for a team that should have no less than ten staff. As expected a lot of things were in chaos and none of us were to blame as we very well couldn’t divide our brains or legs to be on top of the game for all issues. So anyway change finally comes and it comes a bit beyond expectations. Gradually I watched myself relegated to my original designation (of which my pizzazz is low) with less to do. So I would come into work every day, and as my sisters and I like to call it, ‘faff’ around till 5pm, then pick myself and my bag up and head home, dreading the idea of doing the same thing the next day as I abhor being idle! I even mentioned to my boss I was idle and well, not much changed still. I don’t know if it was him letting me get away with faffing around seeing as I’d been busy all year round or if his hands were tied to change the situation but whatever the case, Coco was bored! (don't judge me for speaking the truth, I'm sure I'm not the only one whose gone through this phase at work, i might just be the only one bold enough to say it publicly). Anyway one day I mentioned to my colleague that I had more free time on my hands than I was supposed to and he suggested starting a blog, so I decided to give it a shot. Prior to blogging, my blogging knowledge on a scale of 1 to 10 was 0! I was clueless! But being the inquisitive and self-tutoring person that I am, I began to navigate through the pages till I figured it all out and that was the birth of 9jaspititout blog! 

I’m not sure why I decided to tell this story today, but for some reason I felt like I should let my readers know why I decided to blog (not like it matters to you). Maybe it’s also for lack of nothing to blog about today (writer’s block!) which in itself automatically becomes something to blog about if you can articulate yourself well enough!

Some people blog about their everyday lives, from taking the dog on a walk, to eating pizzas, or dropping the kids off at school, they spill it all. As much as I love blogging, I don’t think I’m prepared to reveal it all digitally. Unless I thought that in some way me telling my readers ‘how I took a crap the day before’ would benefit their lives, I ain’t gonna spit it all out! Lol… Bringing me to why I chose that name. I wanted something catchy that would get your attention and keep it. But at the same time I wanted a name that spoke or interpreted for itself the reason for its existence. I added ‘9ja’ to the name because I love ‘Nigeria’ and I love the people we are though I hate the way we do things but I believe someday all that will change. So this is my/our forum to speak out for the things that we see and feel. I wrote a poem on “resume of unfinished works”, (check my archive) and between then and now not much has changed on that resume. But I can boast of one thing though, if I die tomorrow I would have left one thing behind….my voice….my thoughts…..my views…..and for me that brings a smile to my face that I can share something with the world no matter how small or insignificant for you see my blog is my mirror of me to the world. 

I hope to someday make something big and special of this blog, just like Bellanaija did or the many wonderful and popular blogs out there. So for now like I said before, I’ll keep writing till it bites! (OK don’t ask me what that means cause I’m not even sure)lol.. So just enjoy your time with me digitally! ;)

PS: Thankfully this year I am back to being busy at work so my blogging resume might just not be as full but I promise to keep y’all entertained as best as I can!

Today is my mum’s birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!!! Love ya to bits!