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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Cons of Change.


I have come to realize that I’m not as young as I used to be. I’ve come to realize that the world has changed so much from what it used to be; the innocence of childhood is gone, the respect of younger ones is far lost and the stages of maturity are far gone. Why? Change, the only constant thing in life is change they say. But what they forgot to add was that with every change comes advantages and disadvantages, the latter being greater than the former; I will explain.
I went to a get together yesterday with a friend whose cousin’s birthday it was. She just turned 22 or 23, he wasn’t sure. Anyway we got there and even before stepping in through the door we could smell juveniles from ten feet away. We both walked in telling ourselves we’d not spend much time there as it probably wasn’t our kind of crowd. True to thought, the room was filled with them, juveniles I mean. Though I use the word ‘juvenile’, the appearance of the people in question is everything far from young; with 22inches Brazilian hair, runway model like makeup and handbags that can be seen on the streets of Hollywood oh and let me not forget the acquired accents that make me wonder whether they’ve actually all lived or schooled abroad. Now to conclude on the reason I call them juvies, they are probably all within the ages of 19 and 23 and have succeeded in slapping on at least 5 years on top their original ages by wearing so much makeup and fixing obviously fake hair and nails.  Now please don’t tell me that the age of maturity is 18 because in Africa it’s not; if your folks are still paying your fees, letting you drive their car, giving you allowances and you are still under their roof, then you’re still mainly a kid so lose the ‘I’m an adult crap’. Adulthood is not attained by how old you are but by how responsible you are. I mentioned to my friend, while we sat alone at the dining table feasting on the nice meal in front of us and laughing at how old we are and how children no longer know the meaning of the word respect, that I would blog about this. As if to confirm my concerns on the morals of youth in our society today, one girl whom my friend confirmed to be about 20 in age was asking a group of guys sitting together who would be the ‘male stripper’ for the party! She may have been playing but the confidence and seriousness with which the question was asked was alarming and thought considering. This behavior and sheer lack of respect for the few people in the room whom were obviously older than her is a clear indication of how much the world has changed and is changing. Oh how could I forget the different colored bottles on display on the table?! Moet, Rosey, Sheridan, all kinds of red wine etc… My friend was completely alarmed at the quality of drinks accessible to the kids, drinks he didn’t fail to mention that “his folks would serve ONLY to AUGUST visitors”! lol.. I thought it was funny but he had a point.

I guess all of the above is a clear indication of how kids are raised these days. I said to him on our way back that I really couldn’t blame the lifestyle these kids have adopted;  partying, smoking, etc, because they’ve probably had access to a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle so why not have fun? While I agree it’s good and ok to let your kids have the finer things of life, I don’t agree with spoiling them to the point where they don’t become responsible self-discovering individuals who aren’t cloaked under the umbrella of ‘daddy’s wealth’. Give them ONLY what they NEED, NOT what they WANT. If they have only what they need they will learn to appreciate the source of their fortune and will not become individuals lost in the reverie of adopting a western culture and accent.


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

WHEN WILL MEN FLEE FROM THEIR ACHILLES HEEL?

Lets face it, mighty men of valor and caliber have always been brought down and will still be brought down by a woman, dating back from tales as old as time; Adam and Eve, Samson and Delilah, David and Beersheba, Bill and Monica, Arnold and his maid, now DSK and the Guinean girl but to mention a few! Who's next? When will it end? NEVER! I warn you powerful men, beware of women! (whom are not your wives). smh...
Let me tell you about Achilles...

In Greek mythology, when Achilles was a baby, it was foretold that he would die in battle from an arrow in the foot. Naturally, his mother, Thetis, did not want Achilles to die. So she took Achilles to the River Styx which was supposed to offer powers of invincibility and dipped his body into the water. But as Thetis held Achilles by the heel, his heel was not washed over by the water of the magical river. Achilles grew up to be a man of war who survived many great battles. But one day, an arrow shot at him was lodged in his heel, killing him instantly. Yet Achilles is remembered as one of the greatest fighters who ever lived.
So this is the birth of the term ‘Achilles Heel’, meaning ‘area of weakness’ or ‘vulnerable spot’. Such a strong man would die by an arrow to his heel? It is said the arrow was poisoned by the blood of the Hydra, and hence the fatality. Science has come to name the tendon that connects muscles in the lower leg with the heel bone, the Achilles tendon.(Wikipedia)  
Achilles was a man of valor, pomp and pageantry i can only imagine. Defeated countless of warriors and nations, his name infamous with victory, fame and success; yet what brought him down? Something as minute as his heel. Now i know the story may only be myth and it wasn't a woman who was his weakness, but his heel as his spot of weakness and a woman as a man's vessel of weakness are metaphors. Hence it is safe to conclude that women are men's Achilles heel. Powerful world leaders held in high esteem across the globe, names synonymous with wealth, power and intelligence are knowing the beginning of hell on earth all because a few minutes of weakness or should i call it sexual insanity? I don't understand how the next powerful guy can't learn from the mistakes of his predecessors?? Too many men have fallen prey to the lust of a woman's flesh for a few minutes of destructible pleasure. Pleasure that has cost some their live's hard earned wealth, reputation, freedom, marriage and even their life. Its sad. Its not just the world leaders falling prey, regular Joes too are not immune to the desirable pleasures of a woman's anatomy. What is it about the intense desire for that which you SHOULD NOT have? (discussion for another day). Take Nigeria for instance, divorce in the past was more or less an unspoken taboo, you dare not leave your husband or wife even if you're almost dying in the marriage. But these days there's an increasing rise in divorce rate, most of which can be attributed to marital infidelity, in most cases the man being the culprit and the woman the victim of hurt and anger. People no longer stick around to try to fix things, maybe because the men seem not to care so much anyways, after all pleasure is only a bar away! This does not go to say that women don't have men as their Achilles heel as well (what like 2 in 10? doesn't really count). Some argue that women cheat just as much as men do these days. I beg to differ. Women do cheat but never as much as men do, thats fact no 1. Fact no 2, when women cheat they hardly get caught! Why? Maybe its the men secret code of DON'T Kiss and Tell? Whatever it is, the women know how to take it to the grave because they hardly get caught and the men hardly tell. 

My point though is men have got to find a way to have more self-control from women. They have to wage a war they can win and get away with, not one that comes back to haunt and destroy them. This is just my 2cents to the male folk, STAY AWAY FROM YOUR ACHILLES HEEL WHO IS NOT YOUR WIFE!!!! 

P.S: I normally don't put two pictures at a time, but i couldn't resist as i quite like both pictures! :D
Yep, this is the picture of the guilty!
Errm...Wounded Achilles

  



Wednesday, May 18, 2011

ALIKO DANGOTE- #51 ON WORLD BILLIONAIRES LIST

Aliko Dangote
Na wa o!!! When will i get here?? (by honest and praiseworthy means).. OK while I'm not striving to be rich just so i can make Forbes list (which is tempting) i can't help but be inspired by such stories considering I'm twice less in age than Aliko Dangote, 54, who is now valued at $13.8B and is # 51 on Forbes World Billionaire's list! Heck he beat Roman Abramovich and 348 more people to stand in that position! Kai!! He's also No 1 richest man in Africa... But who is even more inspiring is Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook founder and CEO) who is only 27(my age kai) and is one step behind Aliko, valued at $13.5B ranking in at #52 on the World's Billionaires List, #35 on Forbes 400 richest Americans! Whoaaaa!!! Just because of Facebook?? 
There are mixed reactions to this story, a lot of people are peeved at the fact that Forbes would consider him newsworthy since the source of his wealth is unequivocally unquestionable (Politricks, the government and the corrupt leaders)..quote me not, but thats the advantage of democracy. OK so i don't buy into corruption or ill gotten money and i also don't buy into OWING STAFF SALARY (Dangote, c'mon!!), but i buy into pride when Africa produces something 'positively newsworthy'. Lets face it, Africa has been tagged a dark continent with nothing good to offer and so much negative news on hunger, war, corruption etc etc... so for once its nice to hear stuff worth hearing about and yes, worth splashing on Forbes, so all i can say is WAY TO GO ALIKO!!!! News has it that he's pledged $2 million to establish a fellowship program aimed at grooming young leaders from Africa! (Aliko, please pick me!!!) The fellowship is going to sponsor 35 young Africans and  put them through intensive leadership training in world renowned institutions, with the objective of the program aimed at increasing participation of young Africans in the non-business sector in the Young Global Leaders (YGL) community program being run by the World Economic Forum. Good stuff, at least he's giving back to society.. (though i would have preferred to hear that the fellowship award is for 35 NIGERIANS not AFRICANS), after all charity begins at home!

PS:Anyone who knows Aliko should please tell him there's a young, intelligent, passionate about world issues, potential leader and future ambassador woman, seating down on a swivel chair at work advertising him for free! So he should do well to pick me for the fellowship award! :D.. Thanking him in advance ;)..

hehehe... For more info on this story, check out Forbes here 

INFIDELITY

Can't believe i haven't blogged in a week! Seems this writer's block is worse than i thought! Oh dear, what to do? (blackberry confused face)..

Anyway yesterday i was reading a blog about a young lady in her early twenties who got married about a year ago and has a kid who is a few months old, and whose husband foolishly impregnated another woman just a year into their marriage (with his mistresses kid now a few weeks old)!!! The topic of debate was should she stick with him or pack her bags and hit the high road? Tough choice! So much for fidelity in marriage... I think what was even more shocking to me was reading the number of comments that had come up on this topic, differing opinions, similar experiences and silly answers as to why she should stick with him. It occurred to me that so much dirty, unpleasant and disheartening stuff goes on behind closed doors in a lot of marriages. i can't tell you the number of people who wrote back to say they had similar experiences, and in all these people NONE was a man!! Go figure?! The onus of fidelity and loyalty in marriage is left on the shoulders of women alone, how convenient! The man cheats and she's expected to forgive him and stick with him no matter what because; 'in sickness and in health till death to us part', 'oh she can't raise the kid alone', 'oh it'll be a negative influence on the child as he grows', 'oh what will people say, less than a year into her marriage and she's divorced'...etc etc etc.... gimme a break!
Now while i can't say for sure what my own reaction would be if i ever found myself in such a scenario (which i won't), i will not encourage anyone to stay in an unhappy marriage filled with betrayal and distrust. As someone said to me yesterday, you can't determine your reaction from an action which is based on assumptions because reactions when it comes realities always change! (i misquote as the English was plenty).. In other words there are no 'what ifs', it won't happen to me so i can't say for sure how I'd react.
I know we are supposed to forgive and forget, but how do you forget when ever so often the other woman is calling your husband and demanding for money to look after his own kid too? How do you forget when your husband has to leave the house sometimes to attend to the needs of the other child in his mother's home (which he is probably paying for)? Its all too emotionally consuming... Anyway to each man his own cup of tea to drink and finish...or not!

I though to share this story cause when i read it on someones blog, i fired away three different comments and i did not hesitate to say i would WALK! So i wanna hear your own views, got anything to say on this??

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

A STAGNANT LIFE

I wake up each day and it seems so routine.. Now i know why some westerners commit suicide, they feel stagnant! (fear not i ain't suicidal) Its so easy to become stagnant when you realize that everyday is the same;
you wake ,brush your teeth, bathe, eat, off to work, work, back home, watch tv, eat, sleep only to wake again the next day to do the same thing for at least 250 days in a year! Even when you break the routine abit, say you often go out to have fun or you take a holiday, its still the same thing... Life can be monotonous.. Made worse when you're in a job you don't like or you like your job but the pay is crap.. 
I've realized that the best way to enjoy life is to dream and to take up tasks that lead steps closer to realizing your dreams.. 
A vision without a task is but a dream. A task without a vision is drudgery. A vision with a task is the hope of the world- Zimmerman Donald.. 
I thought of my boyfriend when i saw this; he likes to dream and his dreams are big and thats what i admire about him. He dreams so much so that i call him Joseph! He's not afraid to dream.. Another saying goes that a "dream that does not scare you is not big enough"! Which in order words means we need to dream big dreams! 

I'm not used to dreaming anymore. I used to dream i'd be an ambassador someday; that what i have to say will count to millions of people, that i would be an important person because i was doing good and great things for my country, that i would positively influence the negative image my country possesses around the world.. I used to dream...now i don't and my life feels stagnant. 
I'm going to start dreaming again.. For if i can only start dreaming i'd probably start taking closer steps to actualizing my dreams.. People laugh at big dreamers but big dreamers are big achievers. 
After all, who ever got killed by dreaming? No one...They say what a man thinks, he is.. Why can't i think of myself as a VIP of VIPs; a person even the president of the US would love to meet! I don't need to be rich and successful, i need to be successful. The world measures success by riches but thats not what success is.. Success is personal fulfillment and positive global influence. Bill gates is not successful because he is rich; he's successful because he gave us the computer to make life easy. He's impacted the whole world and in doing that he's become rich. That's the kind of success i wish for and will dream for. The ability to focus on positive global impact and in return monetary rewards for that achievement; that's a successful person.

Life gets stagnant because we allow it. Well its time to dust myself up and try again.. Abraham Lincoln kept trying and today, the rest is history!
-- 

Friday, May 6, 2011

THE INCOMPETENCE OF ARTISANS

Tailors, generator guys, plumbers, air-conditioner repairers, housekeepers etc THEY ARE ALL THE SAME; INCOMPETENT!! I've found writing to be a release for me from life's many emotional roller coasters.. Today its borderline frustration.

I gave a tailor three materials to make me outfits, going on two months now, and you wont believe he hasn't sewn any! I'm sure a lot of you reading this have been in the same or similar shoes and you must be laughing out loud now! You see the last thread of patience and understanding in me of artisans has been shoved out of my emotional and compassionate storehouse! They have raged war and unfortunately they are winning...smh.. winning because all i can do is shout, and all they can keep doing is being HIGHLY INCOMPETENT & UNRELIABLE!! What to do?! The saying goes "pick your battles and win them", how do i win this one?? They have the tools and the skills and i don't so i'm dependent on them. Do i learn to fix my generator, sew my clothes, fix the air-conditioner and clean my house all at the same time just so i can no longer be dependent?? Talk of 'jill of all trades'! To be honest i wish i could do those things myself, i'd never employ an artisan again!

Generator man: "I dey for road, i dey come; just give me 30 minutes"....(3 hours later you're still waiting and of course he never shows up)
Air-conditioner repairer: "Ah, i can't come today but i'll be there on Tuesday abeg".... (it's Thursday, you've called him like 5 times and he's not taking his calls)
TAILOR: "I know your cloth should have been ready but there's been no light, i even slept at my shop waiting. Please eh i'll bring your cloth for you on Saturday, no vex. Even people that gave me their material before you, i still never sew their own" (like that is my frigging business!!)... He said Saturday, A WEEK LATER HE HASN'T CALLED NOR SHOWN UP.

Now can you see my frustration? SMH.....As a last straw I've called the tailor this morning and asked him to return all my material, sewn or unsewn, tomorrow morning. I'm fed up!
Oh dear......

Thursday, May 5, 2011

DILEMMA OF A PRETTY GIRL

photo from theaishwarya.com


While i have no doubts that Aishwarya Rai (former miss world shown above) had no difficulty in bagging a man (with looks like hers), i know for a fact that this is often NOT the case for a lot if not most pretty girls. Funny topic? Maybe so, but true. I've had some conversations on or similar to this issue. I'll explain what i mean.

A lot of people tend to assume a pretty girl ALWAYS has a boyfriend and hence the guy who's been checking her out with his microscopic visual and mental lenses will likely pass up an opportunity to meet her or date her because in his words "she's GOT TO HAVE a boyfriend!". This is not to say that the only reason he'd pass up on her is  because she's pretty, but often times that cliche comes to play when it comes to meet and greet! If you differ on this opinion, ask the guys around and you'll be surprised. "She probably has a line of up of guys after her"; "too hot to handle, why would she look my way"; "i can't afford her".. just some of their tots.. 
Example: a colleague of mine who was engaged to be married last month had the hots for me before he got engaged but never had the courage to ask if i would date him because he 'heard' and 'assumed' i had a boyfriend! Newsflash, at the time he heard and assumed i was in a relationship, he was wrong! See what i mean now? Now i ask myself where he heard i had a boyfriend from since i don't let my private life out in the open to any of my colleagues?! Simple, it was a natural assumption that there's no way in God's green earth a 'pretty and nice' girl (not to pomp myself or anything but heyyyy..:) like myself would be single and hence he missed what might have been his chance! (not like i'm into office romance anywayz). 

Second example: I was watching a western movie yesterday (crappy one by the way) and a very pretty girl was complaining to her friend that no one asked her to the prom the year before because they all assumed she's got to have a boyfriend since she's so hottt! Now though its just a movie, often times there's truth behind what we see and hear. It got me thinking back to the few conversations I've had with guys on this topic. Most (not all o) guys who admire a pretty girl and assume she has a boyfriend may go one step further to hit on her but they'd make up their minds to NOT be serious with her (just in case). Guys, true or false? Think before you answer.. Even when they hear she's singles, some tend to still not believe and hence step in through the door with one leg out! Before i had a boyfriend, i was single for a looooooooooooong time (too long for me to remember); now don't get me wrong, i had 'toasters' but they weren't exactly my type! Some friends accused me of being picky and others wondered if i was lesbo (God forbid). None of the above. I was me... Not one or two but several guys whom i met ALWAYS assumed i had a boyfriend and were somewhat surprised to hear i didn't. I don't know if the assumption is because statistically most people are IN relationships or if the assumption was simply the clichéd mindset that pretty girls have hotties! Whatever the case, that's what they thought. Some guys however are more motivated by the sight of a pretty face and don't give a rat's ass if she's single or double. They see it, like it, want it and go after it! And yes sometimes, they get it! Just to confirm my tots on this, i spoke with a few female friends as well and they concurred on the stereotype of PRETTY FACE= MUST HAVE BF! Infact one girl told me some guys were admiring her friend's pictures on facebook and said to each other in Pidgin English: "this girl fine o, but she go get boyfriend na"  (in English: the girl is fine o, but she surely has a boyfriend) (and she didn't) hence he wrote off asking her out... He however stepped out of his assumption by asking and marrying her eventually,  when he was kindly informed by his brother that she was single. Perfect example of the dilemma of a pretty girl and perfect proof of the phrase that "assumption is the termite of relationships (or lack of it"

I guess what I'm trying to say ultimately is; when you see something or someone you like and want; make an effort to meaningfully go after it or her, she just might have been waiting for YOU to ask her all along *winks*
I mean what have you got to lose right?? :)