This post is inspired by the heart wrenching, jaw dropping, mind boggling story which I just read on BellaNaija's blog, about a 20 year old girl in a sexually, emotionally and physically abusive relationship. I have to say that I was too shocked to even have comments to drop because its hard to believe what human beings are capable of doing to another human and also harder to believe that the victims feel trapped and don't know when its time to walk away.
I've never been in an abusive relationship and so I cannot begin to fathom the intense and immense emotional and physical turmoil which people who are in such go through. At the risk of sounding judgmental I believe that victims of an abusive relationship, especially when unmarried, are unable to walk away because in the recesses of their mind their self-esteem is so low that they believe they cannot find any man better than what they already have and so they are dominated by fear of the known and unknown. Men who raise their hands on women and who degrade women sexually are demented and need to be exorcised because they are surely not worthy to bear the title of manhood, shikena! Its despicable and disgusting to even hear such stories that its borderline unbelievable. Unfortunately, because I know victims of such relationships I have to believe that of this unfortunate girl and I wish to God I knew were to find this 20 year old girl because I would take her matter personal o!
No man born of a woman, who has sisters, who is raised to fear God, who understands the value of women and who is worthy of the title of manhood would ever raise his hand or his voice or treat a woman in a way which can be described as inhumane. I am surrounded by such men and so I know that real men exist. Some of the women who are victims of abusive relationships are being fed lies in their hearts from the devil, lies that tell them that they are worthless to every other man and worth-full to their abuser. They are being fed lies that their abuser loves them and acts inhumane only in moments of weakness whereas unknown to them the blood flowing through his veins is infected with crude oil! They believe that the abuser will change someday because sometimes he is loving and so they forget so quickly that he is a nothing but a swine in clean clothes! I could go on and on but I'll stop here for now because I don't want to lose my temper and risk smashing my laptop against the wall! *exhaling deeply*.
If you are a victim of an abusive relationship or you know someone in an abusive relationship, please act fast. Notice I used the word 'act'? And I don't mean 'talk' or 'advise' or 'try to reason with your friend' fast, I mean literally drag her by the ear away from her predicament if you have to and if possible! I mean get family involved if that's what it takes and don't worry about what they'll say or think of you, they'll get over it quickly and get into "action/eliminate the enemy mode" immediately. So please speak up and save yourself or shut up and kill yourself, because that may just be the final and unfortunate means through which you are able to get yourself out of such a relationship.
God loves you and made you fearfully and wonderfully and don't let any man treat you as any less. Real love is not violent, jealous or scary. Real love doesn't destroy self-esteem or intimidate. There is NO FEAR in love. Perfect Love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). So if you are in a relationship and you are scared then it is NOT love.
Remain blessed!
Coco Chinny
I've never been in an abusive relationship and so I cannot begin to fathom the intense and immense emotional and physical turmoil which people who are in such go through. At the risk of sounding judgmental I believe that victims of an abusive relationship, especially when unmarried, are unable to walk away because in the recesses of their mind their self-esteem is so low that they believe they cannot find any man better than what they already have and so they are dominated by fear of the known and unknown. Men who raise their hands on women and who degrade women sexually are demented and need to be exorcised because they are surely not worthy to bear the title of manhood, shikena! Its despicable and disgusting to even hear such stories that its borderline unbelievable. Unfortunately, because I know victims of such relationships I have to believe that of this unfortunate girl and I wish to God I knew were to find this 20 year old girl because I would take her matter personal o!
No man born of a woman, who has sisters, who is raised to fear God, who understands the value of women and who is worthy of the title of manhood would ever raise his hand or his voice or treat a woman in a way which can be described as inhumane. I am surrounded by such men and so I know that real men exist. Some of the women who are victims of abusive relationships are being fed lies in their hearts from the devil, lies that tell them that they are worthless to every other man and worth-full to their abuser. They are being fed lies that their abuser loves them and acts inhumane only in moments of weakness whereas unknown to them the blood flowing through his veins is infected with crude oil! They believe that the abuser will change someday because sometimes he is loving and so they forget so quickly that he is a nothing but a swine in clean clothes! I could go on and on but I'll stop here for now because I don't want to lose my temper and risk smashing my laptop against the wall! *exhaling deeply*.
If you are a victim of an abusive relationship or you know someone in an abusive relationship, please act fast. Notice I used the word 'act'? And I don't mean 'talk' or 'advise' or 'try to reason with your friend' fast, I mean literally drag her by the ear away from her predicament if you have to and if possible! I mean get family involved if that's what it takes and don't worry about what they'll say or think of you, they'll get over it quickly and get into "action/eliminate the enemy mode" immediately. So please speak up and save yourself or shut up and kill yourself, because that may just be the final and unfortunate means through which you are able to get yourself out of such a relationship.
God loves you and made you fearfully and wonderfully and don't let any man treat you as any less. Real love is not violent, jealous or scary. Real love doesn't destroy self-esteem or intimidate. There is NO FEAR in love. Perfect Love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). So if you are in a relationship and you are scared then it is NOT love.
Remain blessed!
Coco Chinny
Preach! Biko tell them o! This post has my seal and stamp of approval! Gbam!
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