Women are complex creatures. I'm one so I know better! We get moody when we have no reason to, cry when we shouldn't, worry over things that always have solutions, etc etc etc..the list is loooong! On Saturday a bunch of kids came over to my sisters house and they were lil girls. Her hubby couldn't help but notice that the lil girls weren't playing with each other and he said so stating that guys behaved differently. In hindsight this is true as it happens in adulthood. Two women sit beside each other at a mutual friend's party and none says hi to the other because they are both wondering who will say hi first or if the other person is a social snob! I've done it before so I know this is a common occurrence and I wonder why?! Ladies any input on this one?
Anyway my main focus for this blog entry is to talk about what a lot of women want in a relationship! Yes, thousand+xxxx 'relationship experts' are my predecessors in this field and yes they have most times written accurate stuff but men can never hear enough of what women really want because truth is half the time they aren't paying attention!! So, just like she always does when she asks you five times or more to please remember to buy xxxxxx on your way home, I'm gonna add myself to the thousand+xxx1 people who have reiterated many times what women want and in doing so I'm going to use myself as case study! Don't judge me o, here goes: (P.S: Disclaimer: Please note that the following does not apply to every woman as some women are logical and not emotional creatures and hence the title of my post)
1. Communication- I'm a big communicator in the sense that I like to 'talk' about issues when they happen because that is my way of releasing inner anger. To deny emotional women the privilege of communicating is to slowly turn up the dial of an incinerator! One day the dial will go beyond the scale and when it does the door will explode and all hell will break loose and hell with have no fury like a woman scorned or rather shunned! Men talk to us, its part of our motivating fuel to be better girlfriends/wives to you.
2. Attention- I'm clearing my throat on this one because its an Achilles heel for me. I don't know if its because I'm a Leo and we live for attention or if its just my genetic wiring, but a few hours of not giving me attention can send me to moody land for a day!! Now don't get me wrong, we're not asking to be followed around or to be called every hour but just 'feeling' like we're your numero uno thought is all it takes! How do you achieve it? Its up to you guys, what does your woman like? Does she want to hear your voice every hour (whether she or you calls) or does she want to see a text from you? Or does she want you to be involved in the design of the wedding cake for your wedding too? Whatever it is SHE WANTS and you can easily provide, knowing it will make her happy, then please by all means try to do it. Some argue that should he do what she wants even when its not genuinely from his heart and he's only acting out because it'll make her happy? My answer? Yes. Would it make you happy if she isn't a football fan but she sits down to watch it with you anyway because you like to talk while watching it and at least she can keep you company? If yes, then there goes your answer! If no, then this my blog post can't help you... waka go the next one, maybe they'll have answers for you! There is a thin line between genuineness and pretense and finding a way to balance the two in the interest of all parties concerned is all it'll take for moments of peace if not be prepared for lady moody to make an appearance.
3. Femininity- We want to see your feminine side dude! One of the biggest turn-on's for ALL women (emotionally or logically inclined) is a man who can cook and clean! They are like diamonds, rare to find; gold, hard if not impossible to tarnish; cake, sweet to eat; chocolate, perfect aphrodisiacs! You see the thing is we know its part of our responsibility to 'look after the man and the home' but to see a man who doesn't conform to the world's rules but who makes his and lives by them is epic!! Men, it wouldn't hurt to have dinner ready for two of you every now and then or to help out around the house, after-all she helps with the bills so why can't you help with the chores? You didn't marry your mother, a nanny or a housemaid. You married a wife, a partner, helper and teammate! Treat her as such and she'll literally lick the ground you walk on if you ask her to.
There are so many more issues I could address but this for me are the three which stand out the most especially coming from a masculine culture where women are defined by their social responsibilities!
So, dats all! Share your thoughts if you wish...
Ciao..
Coco-C
Anyway my main focus for this blog entry is to talk about what a lot of women want in a relationship! Yes, thousand+xxxx 'relationship experts' are my predecessors in this field and yes they have most times written accurate stuff but men can never hear enough of what women really want because truth is half the time they aren't paying attention!! So, just like she always does when she asks you five times or more to please remember to buy xxxxxx on your way home, I'm gonna add myself to the thousand+xxx1 people who have reiterated many times what women want and in doing so I'm going to use myself as case study! Don't judge me o, here goes: (P.S: Disclaimer: Please note that the following does not apply to every woman as some women are logical and not emotional creatures and hence the title of my post)
1. Communication- I'm a big communicator in the sense that I like to 'talk' about issues when they happen because that is my way of releasing inner anger. To deny emotional women the privilege of communicating is to slowly turn up the dial of an incinerator! One day the dial will go beyond the scale and when it does the door will explode and all hell will break loose and hell with have no fury like a woman scorned or rather shunned! Men talk to us, its part of our motivating fuel to be better girlfriends/wives to you.
2. Attention- I'm clearing my throat on this one because its an Achilles heel for me. I don't know if its because I'm a Leo and we live for attention or if its just my genetic wiring, but a few hours of not giving me attention can send me to moody land for a day!! Now don't get me wrong, we're not asking to be followed around or to be called every hour but just 'feeling' like we're your numero uno thought is all it takes! How do you achieve it? Its up to you guys, what does your woman like? Does she want to hear your voice every hour (whether she or you calls) or does she want to see a text from you? Or does she want you to be involved in the design of the wedding cake for your wedding too? Whatever it is SHE WANTS and you can easily provide, knowing it will make her happy, then please by all means try to do it. Some argue that should he do what she wants even when its not genuinely from his heart and he's only acting out because it'll make her happy? My answer? Yes. Would it make you happy if she isn't a football fan but she sits down to watch it with you anyway because you like to talk while watching it and at least she can keep you company? If yes, then there goes your answer! If no, then this my blog post can't help you... waka go the next one, maybe they'll have answers for you! There is a thin line between genuineness and pretense and finding a way to balance the two in the interest of all parties concerned is all it'll take for moments of peace if not be prepared for lady moody to make an appearance.
3. Femininity- We want to see your feminine side dude! One of the biggest turn-on's for ALL women (emotionally or logically inclined) is a man who can cook and clean! They are like diamonds, rare to find; gold, hard if not impossible to tarnish; cake, sweet to eat; chocolate, perfect aphrodisiacs! You see the thing is we know its part of our responsibility to 'look after the man and the home' but to see a man who doesn't conform to the world's rules but who makes his and lives by them is epic!! Men, it wouldn't hurt to have dinner ready for two of you every now and then or to help out around the house, after-all she helps with the bills so why can't you help with the chores? You didn't marry your mother, a nanny or a housemaid. You married a wife, a partner, helper and teammate! Treat her as such and she'll literally lick the ground you walk on if you ask her to.
There are so many more issues I could address but this for me are the three which stand out the most especially coming from a masculine culture where women are defined by their social responsibilities!
So, dats all! Share your thoughts if you wish...
Ciao..
Coco-C
Yippee u finally posted. Yes a great turn on is a man that can cook, clean, etc romantic as well. www.secretlilies.blogspot.com
ReplyDeletePhiri, yes o I finally blogged! lol.. I've been lazy for awhile..
DeleteExcellent blog! Let me pick on the statement "there's a thin line between pretense and genuineness". I think that's the reason why some relationships falter, because after awhile you can't tell when it is real or when it is an act. And pretense contradicts point #1, communication. Should you have to pretend if you communicate?
ReplyDeleteI do agree with the point, "Do it even if it is just to make her happy", it is a true statement because it is an act of love and sacrifice that fosters a relationship. The way I see it, if it matters to her, then it will eventually matter to him too, albeit indirectly.
The key word is "support". When a man pretends, frustration/resentment slowly builds up inside, men don't 'communicate' as well as women, eventually the pretense builds up to a stage where the man uses it as an 'excuse/crutch' for his own shortcomings/bad habits. I "tolerate" yours, why won't you "tolerate" mine, then the fighting starts...
Sorry for the epistle o, good to have you blogging again!
If a man does something solely for the purpose of making a woman happy, is he pretending? He shouldn't pretend to communicate, he should just communicate because its healthy for both of them. Pretense never gets anyone anywhere and neither does bankruptcy of empathy or the three subjects discussed, its a recipe for a disastrous relationship so the two people have to find what works for them and make it happen! Like you said, its all about love and sacrifice! No problem with epistles, I like engaging ones ;).
DeleteQ: "If a man does something solely for the purpose of making a woman happpy, is he pretending?"
ReplyDeleteA: If he does it happily, without any complaints then he isn't pretending. Only the person performing the action can tell you if it is heartfelt or not.
I agree with you.
You remind me of my wife :)
Dats all @ your answer! I remind you of your wife? She must be a smart woman then! ;)
DeleteSmart wife... Smart husband... Smart friend too... Hehe... I agree
DeleteStories that touch!!!!
ReplyDeleteShimon, meaning? On this blog page we expatiate!!!
DeleteWell, I believe in the First Amendment!!!!
ReplyDeleteNice blog tho
Lol@ first amendment! C'mon, its not that hard to love women if you keep an open mind and give up some of your rights! ;).. thanks for the compliment anyway!
Delete