I was watching the movie ‘Valentine’s Day’, you may or not have watched it, and in it Ashton Kutcher nervously proposed to Jessica Alba and she excitedly said ‘yes’! He then went onto boast to his friend that she said ‘yes’, and it made me wonder if he ever expected a different answer?! I mean you’re supposed to know or not if your girlfriend will say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ right? Anyway it got me thinking that in my country most men are probably sure that their girlfriends will say ‘yes’, seeing as there is now a serious shortage of ‘eligible bachelors’ in the dating market.
Demand is higher than supply on the dating scene. And for that reason a girl must be outta her mind not to say ‘yes’ to a marriage proposal. After all there is a saying that goes “a time will come when seven women will run after one man” (I’d love to see the guy run!) they say its in the bible, I've searched but haven't been able to find it. Anyway it appears that time has most certainly come, seeing as some of my fellow women folk have now belittled their selves to propose to guys or to ask them to be their ‘baby daddy’only! Ludicrous I tell ya.But yet an often occurrence out of desperation to be hooked. No one wants to remain single, its as though being single is an abomination.
Guys, I ask you this question, Are you sure she will say ‘yes’? Do you want her to say ‘yes’ because you love her or because it’s the next logical step in the equation of your relationship or because she’s ‘take home to mama’ but not necessarily take home to your heart or because she’s expecting the proposal so it’s just as well if you offer one or because she’s superwoman in all the areas you expect?
Women, I ask you this question, bearing in mind recent facts on the dating scene, is it possible that when he pops the big question your answer can be different from Yes? Will you go on to say ‘yes’ because you truly love him or because it’s ‘****ally’ convenient to be with him or because you just need your family to back off your case as to why you’re still unmarried or because he’s good looking, has good genes in his blood and will transfer that to your unborn and unknown babies or because the biological clock is ticking and you need to start reproducing?
Do you know when to walk away because in your heart you truly know you can’t walk the mile with him or her? Are you so caught up in your fantasy for heart beating, blood pumping, butterflies in stomach idea of love that you don’t see the writing on the wall before you make one of, if not the most important decision of your lives? I wonder….. Marriage is a never ending school. But guess what? It’s the only school few take time to prepare for..…no books, few classes, few group discussions…… just a proposal, wedding outfits, matriculation ceremony and voila! You’re in for life!
Women: Must 'HE' pop the question?
Guys: Must she say YES?
I'd like to get your views on this, feel free to comment below!
Chinny
first of all...wetin be ****ally? i've been trying to decode but have been unsuccessful.
ReplyDeletesecond of all..i can only answer for myself as a girl so here goes....If a guys pops the question to me, my answer will be 'yes' based on two reasons.
1. He has proposed in a very public place and i have no choice but to say yes cos i dont wanna embarrass him by saying no at the time. It only goes to show that he wasn't paying real attention in the relationship to know that it didnt mean more to me enough to be married to him or maybe he just got carried away with the fact that i was a super woman that fit the bill of 'take home to mama'..;-)...apparently, my ansa shall change when we leave that place.
2. I love him and can't imagine not sharing living my life with him. He is the one God had destined for me. My brother, father, lover, friend, spiritual mentor..e'th...well after God o. I cant imagine marrying a man for the sake of it and end up being unhappy for the rest of my life..Chukwu ama n kwe..i go stop here before i turn my comment to another blogpost..maybe i should do a follow up post on my blog..hmmmmmmm!!!
Izzie, ****ally can be financi, sexu, spiritu, economic, etc etc! lol.. Hmm.. I don't understand reason 1.. You'll say yes in public, and no later because?....
ReplyDeleteFor me the essence of writing this is so that we can each ask ourselves the reasons we want to get married to whom we choose to be with. When we can give honest answers to disprove this article, then we can say yes to him or her! I wont lie in saying i'm not guilty of wanting to say yes because of some of the reasons proposed e.g he has good genes hence my kids can have em! lol.. :D.. But that's selfish love.. Its almost like conditional and convenient love.. not unconditional.
There is always a selfish reason for saying yes... You must ask yourself "what are my selfish reasons?" cause believe me, he has his and that's why he's asked you to marry him...
ReplyDeleteI can say NO... I just wonder why I would be dating him in the first place anyway... but for those (guys or girls) who just jump to a proposal, I can say NO and I have said NO... it is very ok... Marriage is for life, I won't gamble my life and that of our offspring... Of course, I can also say YES... for my very selfish reasons!
PS: I would very much say no in public and say yes later, just to cause him alil heart break... lol... I won't be the first anyway.
@Spoken, lol! A lil heartbreak?? That's more than a lil! Gosh the guy may not forgive you for the embarrassment! Anyway i agree with you on the 'selfish reasons' part, he definitely has his own selfish reasons so i guess it makes sense for us to have too!
ReplyDeleteAnyway thanks for your view and feel free to drop a line anytime (and introduce yourself) or better still sign up as a follower! :)
There is no text book oh, its different strokes for different folks. Its best not to follow the crowd, just use ur heart + ur head! Anyone that say just love is not enough doesnt have enough love .
ReplyDeleteMine was not like the usual movie script or fairy tale setting. We had being dating for a while but when my hubby proposed, I said a big NO! and I meant it . He asked me about 6 times on different occasions, but I kept on saying NO!Although I loved him ,I had a marriage –phobia (cause of bad experiences of people around me),I was very young (or so I thought ),I didn’t like his tribe, we were classmates, I had other suitors ..….and in short it was just funny. He kept depositing love into my heart, I saw the seriousness and patience and then I mulled, prayed, borrowed other peoples eyes (to see the little thing that matter most) .Months later I was convinced that he was the right one and I couldn’t spend the rest of my life with anyone else.. Now, 5years later we are more than happily married friends, with 2 kids and are still just as in love. In fact, if I had to do it again ,I won’t change a thing
Mama J, kudos on knowing when to say no and knowing when to say yes. Of course the decision to marry can never be based on popular consensus or on negative experiences of others, though they may cloud one's judgment. At the end of the day the most important thing is to pray and then follow your heart. One thing i know is that Love is patient and suffereth long, so if its meant to be, it will.
ReplyDeleteWell, I've said No several times and for various reasons.
ReplyDeleteI totally disagree with Mama J's comment. Sometimes, love is not just enough. There are other important ingredients in a union, outside of love. A few times, love alone doesnt just cut it. And my answer in that case, was No.(obviously, since I'm still single. lol)
Interesting article and responses! "Sometimes love is not enuff"...classic statement. Will blog abt it! Classic! Love and reality...not jst a blog, an article.
ReplyDelete