Dear God-sequel...

Dear God,

How are You today? I know You are doing great, after all You are God! How are the citizens of Heaven doing? I can’t wait to meet them someday; I bet they are in awe of You daily... Oh what a wonderful sight it must be to see Your children clad in robes of white with halos around their head kneeling before Your throne in total surrender and worship of You… I hope to join them someday too, at a good old age when I have fulfilled Your plans for my life.

I’ve only ever written You one letter in my life before and that was when I was upset with You. I wanted a UK holiday visa so badly, I coulda paid any amount to anyone who would guarantee me that visa. I put the desire for a visa before You; it was my priority for that season. I wanted You to give it to me but I forgot to check with You if it was what You wanted for me. Then came the blow! You bounced me and I wept. I wept so badly. Cried that You would let the embassy bounce me for the 3^rd time, cried that I wasn’t gonna be able to attend my twin sister’s graduation, cried that I wasn’t gonna be able to meet up with a ‘love interest’ at that time, cried that I wasn’t going to spend Christmas with my sisters who were travelling too, cried that my passport was ruined. Yes God, I cried. I was upset with You. How could You love me then let me constantly be rejected for an innocent request? Couldn’t You see my pain? What did I do to You that You wouldn’t let me be happy? These were all the silly questions I asked You and I back then. I was foolish right?? I should have known better as your child, maybe I did but I refused to acknowledge the truth. A seemingly trivial problem to be denied a visa… After all it was just a three times request for a holiday!! So I wrote You the letter below:

Dear God,

Are you on leave?? Cos lately you've been kinda silent, especially when i needed you the most! I know you are there but it sure feels like your not!

What did i do wrong? Why would you let all these 'trials' try to steal my joy at this time of the year when it should be a season to rejoice, be happy, loving and giving? Are you trying to punish me for sins committed through actions or for sins committed through thoughts? Which one God?
I'm sad and I’m sorry too. Sorry that i feel this way and that i failed to trust you more. For even that feels like sin itself, not letting go and letting you. You said the plans in my heart are many, but only your 'counsel' will stand. I respect and appreciate that. But you also said that ' when my ways please YOU, even my enemies would be at peace with me'. So makes me ask, what did i do to displease you that you will not let the sun stand still and the moon stop till revenge is upon my enemies? Cos they are not at peace with me but at war.. The battle is not mine, it’s yours but i feel the 'stings' and 'hits' of the blasts on my heart and head.
Tell me...
I wake up every morning and my heart skips a beat.. Out of heart ache and fear and anger and frustration.. My eyes tell a different story altogether. I literally have to wear sun shades to hide the sadness and despair seen in it.
It was supposed to be perfect this season and now it looks so bleak, so cold empty and numb..

I need answers God. . I’m waiting and I’ll wait for as long as you are ready to talk to me!

Yours Faithfully,
your child..

(The picture showed my tears)

Do You remember God? Of course You do! You’re all knowing, never changing, ever remembering and ever seeing. You saw and heard it all. I remember feeling a lil better after writing you that letter, even though I still didn’t have the visa. I resolved not to care anymore, resigned myself to fate! Maybe I was never destined to visit the UK unlike the rest of my family… I was “Chinny The Reject”! Lol..

Now when I read that letter above I ask myself it was just about a visa or if there was something else?! Gosh its deep even for me the writer. Of course You were never on leave; You just decided it wasn’t time for me to go anywhere just yet. Just like an earthly father says No when a child asks to go outside to play, You said no when I asked to travel. I don’t know what You were protecting me from then but I am thankful that You said No. I know I may never have told You this before but for every time You turned me down or did not give into my request, You wove a fiber of strength and patience into my impatient and demanding skin. You taught me what surrender means, You gave me patience… I never saw it back then but now I do. Now I know what plans You had for me… Just like a potter molding clay into any shape, You were molding me, fortifying me like a silversmith would to his gold, baking me in the oven of adversity like bread, allowing the sands of time pass through the hourglass in my life so that I would understand why it goes so slowly…

So Dear God, Thank You. Thank You for tolerating my excesses and loving me regardless. Thank You for not striking me dead for questioning Your supremacy, thank you for showing me who made and owns the nations of the earth, YOU. Thank God, God no be man o for if man be God o I for don die, I for don kpeme.

And lastly God, THANK YOU for granting my request SIX YEARS LATER, it was only long enough! Lol.. ;)…

This is where I sign off to grab lunch for the day. But I promise one thing God, I’ll write you more letters from now on and when I do, it won’t because I am upset with you but because I want to praise you for who YOU are, MY EVERYTHING<TREASURE & PRIORITY>

Take care of you God and be sure to write back to me because I will be expecting your letters… Hugs n kisses.

Yours adorably,

Chinny aka Tata, aka Coco aka (anything you wanna call me :)